Saturday, September 28, 2019

Love, Marriage and a Baby Carriage by C. S. Poe

**This blog contains adult language and discussion of...ahem...adult activities.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to have the story completely and utterly spoiled.

Book Description: Theodore Reinhart is a young man looking for love.  In San Diego.  At a convention.  For penguin shifters.  Waddlecon is the go-to event of the year when looking for a life partner, but Theodore isn't comfortable with the game they've turned dating into, nor does the convention provide for the gay community.  A mistake in speed dating table assignments puts Theodore in front of Wesley O'Neill, a handsome and confident model that lets it slip that he's definitely noticed the spark of attraction between them.  A perfect date ends prematurely when Theodore finds an abandoned egg in a bathroom trashcan.  Unable to leave it behind, Theodore and Wesley play a mad game of cat and mouse across the resort trying to keep it safe, all while growing closer to one another.  Wesley may be the forever partner Theodore came looking for, but their relationship won't work unless they make room for a little addition to the family.

This book was published in 2016 and this is my first time reading it.  It's pretty short and it only has one sex scene in it but it was a cute read and a welcome brain break after that stupid talisman book I just finished.  The author primarily writes gay fiction - mystery, romance and paranormal book.  I would read her again.

We begin with our protagonist Theodore (who I am going to call Theo for the rest of this recap because I hate the name Theodore) in a convention center bathroom. He tells us that he's a hot mess because the airline lost his luggage and he wasn't able to freshen up before going down to Waddlecon. Luckily......or maybe unluckily....he already had his suit on (brown tweed jacket, blue striped shirt, plaid tie and salmon colored pants). He's a little disappointed in the convention. It's supposed to help everyone find their “forever penguin partner” but it's geared toward the hetero crowd and Theo is gay. He decides to try to make the best of it. He's in California by the beach so he figures he can at least enjoy his vacation.

Theo check in and gets his name badge. They also hand him drink tickets and he heads straight for the bar. After two very strong drinks, he's feeling better about his salmon pants. A perky voice announces that speed dating is about to start. He figures it's going to be a waste of his time since he isn't looking for a woman and decides to sit it out at the bar. But the organizer is short one guy and comes to fetch him to even things out.

It goes as horribly as Theo imagined and he's counting the minutes until it's over. He thinks he'll just check out and go home because clearly this event isn't for him and he doesn't think he can even enjoy the vacation anymore. Third to last he ends up with a guy instead of a girl. A GORGEOUS guy with “motherfucking dimples” as Theo tells us. The guy smiles and says someone must have made a mistake with the table assignments but Theo should sit down anyway. He introduces himself as Wes and tells Theo that he looks adorable. Theo is extremely flustered because this guy is mega hot. Wes is, of course, a model.

They make small talk and Theo can't shake the impression that Wes is his mate. It's like he recognizes Wes's face on a deep, primitive level. The bell rings and Theo has to move on. He hopes to go back to find Wes after it's over but one of the women corners him instead. She says he was her favorite “date” and she wants to go to dinner with him. Theo's trying to figure out how to decline graciously when Wes appears and tells the woman that he and Theo already have plans to have dinner together.

Theo is stunned. After the woman goes away, he stammers out something about liking Wes's dimples and thinking he's hot. To his surprise, Wes says he thinks Theo is hot too and they make plans to meet at 6:00 for dinner.

We time hop to dinner where we learn Wes is actually bi. He asks Theo about the suit and Theo tells him that a salesperson talked him into it, saying it was very Californian. He tells Wes about his missing luggage and Wes says that he has some plans Theo will need to be naked for anyway. Theo gets super flustered at that and excuses himself to go to the bathroom. When he gets there, the men's room is out of order. There's a sign telling the guys to use the family restroom instead. It's occupied so he has to stand in the hall and wait.

He decides to google Wes to see if he can see any of his modeling pictures. It turns out Wes mostly models underwear and Theo gets a little.......hmmmm.......exuberant if you know what I mean. A woman rushes out of the bathroom and Theo goes in to splash cold water on his face. While he's drying his hands he discovers an egg in the trash can.

It's still warm and Theo freaks out, trying to decide what to do. He gently takes it out of the trashcan and wraps it in a handful of paper towels. He thinks about taking it to security but he's worried about what might happen to the egg if he does. This is majorly against the rules. Penguins mate for life and there's no reason one would abandon an egg unless she had it with someone she wasn't supposed to be having it with. He is sure the egg is evidence of cheating and that's a big no-no in their culture.

Theo runs back to the table and discreetly shows Wes the egg. Wes immediately assumes Theo has a woman partner and he's a little upset. Theo rushes to explain what happened. Wes says they should take it to the event organizers but he doesn't sound too sure. There's a chance it could be destroyed because it was a product of infidelity. Penguin laws or something. Theo says a woman in a red dress came out right before he went in and the egg was still warm so maybe it belongs to her. Wes thinks they should try to find her and confront her with it.

I tried to do some research about how much time lapses between a penguin mating and laying an egg but the internet is weirdly vague on this issue.  The book is making it sound like it happens immediately.  The lady in the red dress cheated on her mate, immediately laid an egg in the bathroom and took off.  I don't know if it really happens that way or if the author is just taking some license because these people are shifters.

Speaking of which, we do get a brief shifter lesson here. Penguin shifters lay eggs (probably in their penguin form but I'm not super sure) and then it is kept warm in a nest with a special light.  When the egg hatches, a penguin chick emerges but pretty much immediately changes into human baby form.  The hatchling will stay in human form until it gets older when it will be able to shift back and forth at will.

 Wes tells Theo that he'll pay the check and Theo should wait for him outside. Theo agrees, still cradling the egg against his chest. He's still pretty freaked out but he feels really protective over the egg.  Outside he sees the woman in the red dress but she's not alone. Her mate is with her and they're arguing pretty loudly about whether or not she's cheating on him. (Their names are Clara and Steven by the way.) He has pretty solid evidence given that he found her at Waddlecon which is an event for singles to meet other singles. She says she's just there having fun with friends. Wes comes out and he and Theo approach the arguing couple. Wes holds the egg out to Clara and tells her that she dropped it in the bathroom. This does not go over well.

Steven immediately assumes that either Wes or Theo is the father. He threatens to throw the egg into the ocean and let it die.  He also wants to kick their ass.  Wes tries to fight Steven off but Steven breaks his glasses and suddenly Wes can't see anything. Theo yells at him to run and kind of helps/drags him along as they take off. Steven gets reinforcements and gives chase, threatening to kill Wes and Theo along with the egg. Penguins are hard core, man. They eventually duck into a gift shop and lose the chasers.

Wes is pretty pissed at how his night is turning out. He wants to hand the egg over to security and be done with it. Theo is starting to get broody though. He picks out a pretty green scarf to wrap the egg in to keep it warm. Wes grumbles a bit and then goes to try on some reading glasses to see if they might help him see better. Meanwhile, Theo picks out a postcard to go along with the scarf and pays for everything. Wes asks him why he bought a postcard and Theo says it's for the baby to have when he/she grows up.

Wes calms down a little. He reminds Theo that the egg isn't theirs and Theo resists that. He says it feels like it is. Or at least like it's supposed to be. He's always wanted to be a dad. Wes says they can't adopt a baby when they haven't even kissed yet and then he kisses Theo. Theo's never been kissed before and he's so startled that he drops the egg. Wes catches it and cradles it against his body. It's then that they hear Steven talking to security. He's apparently told them that Wes and Theo slept with his wife and security assures him that the two men will be kicked out of Waddlecon immediately.

Wes and Theo sneak out of the gift shop and creep around the hotel. They can't go back to their rooms without being spotted but they come across a couple of maids sneaking a cigarette outside the back door. The maid's cleaning cart is left unattended and Wes rummages through it. He finds two full uniforms (bullshit) and they put them on. Theo hides the egg in the towels and then they push the cart toward their own rooms. No one pays a bit of attention to them, thinking they're just cleaning staff.  When they get to the corridor with Wes's room in it, security is down at the end of the hall doing a random sweep.  Theo freaks out but Wes tells him to keep calm and think of the hot sex they're about to have. As a distraction technique it's pretty powerful. Theo is a virgin and the idea of having sex is very appealing.

Security walks right past them without a second glance. They make it to Wes's room and Theo makes a nest on the chair out of a fluffy robe and the scarf he bought. Wes thinks he's pretty adorable. He comes up behind Theo and his intentions are pretty clear. Theo hesitates and covers up the egg even though it can't possibly see anything.

Wes is right - Theo is adorable.

Theo definitely loses his virginity. Three times.  Only the first time is described and it's a method of M/M sex that I've never heard in one of these books.  Which says a lot really.  It wasn't anything weird or impossible or anything, just different.

In the morning, Theo wakes up and hears Wes splashing around in the bath. He goes in there and finds Wes in penguin form enjoying a good soak. Theo thinks he's a pretty hot penguin too. Wes changes back into human form and the two talk. Theo admits that he's pretty sure Wes is his mate and he wants to keep the egg. Wes agrees and asks Theo to move in with him.

That was super fast.

But they ARE penguins and I've heard penguins just know.

They try to make a run for Wes's car but Steven finds them. He throws a few punches at Wes to incapacitate him and then takes off after Theo and the egg.  Theo isn't the most athletic in human form and Steven catches up with him pretty easily.  He throws the egg into the water and then tackles Theo. Theo is full of paternal instinct or something and throws Steven off. He changes into penguin form and goes shooting through the ocean waves to save the egg. It's a close call but he finally locates it and turns back to human form under the water so he can pick it up. He doesn't think he'll make it to the surface in human form but his will to save the baby propels him through. When he breaks the surface he sees Wes standing on shore with security.


We time hop exactly 39 days (which, by the way, seems like a VERY short time for penguin incubation based on the research I did earlier). Wes and Theo have explained things to the shifter counsel and they've been allowed to adopt the egg. Theo has moved in with Wes and they are anxious daddies waiting for their chick to hatch. When it finally does, they discover they have a daughter and then the book ends with a happily ever after. Short and sweet.  

I'm not a huge fan of these super short books.  I have a hard time believing in the happily ever after when they barely know each other and have only had a few conversations.  I keep reminding myself that this is technically the animal kingdom and things are just different in their relationships.  Penguins do mate for life after just meeting one time so maybe this makes sense in that context.  I don't know.  I'm just happy it was a good book and there was no dub con going on this time.  👊 






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