**This blog contains adult language and description of...ahem...adult activities.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to have the story completely and utterly spoiled.
Book Description: She thought she'd never be able to find a lover, but he's been in her bed for years. Anime obsessed Anne might be a fictophiliac or she might just hate touch so much she'll never have sex. She doesn't really care about the difference as long as she has her favorite pillow to grind against when she needs physical relief. Anne's favorite pillow is more than just a feather-filled cotton sack – he's alive but no one knows it. Hot, pulsing magic weaves between his fibers each time she touches him. All he wants is to be the man Anne needs. Soft. Moldable. And ready to cater to her every desire. But when he has enough magic to become a man, will Anne accept his eager touch? Can flesh and fabric come together in erotic bliss? Will more than one of them end up fully stuffed?
This book was published in 2023 and this is my first time reading it. I'm almost certain it's my first time reading this author in general but judging by her website, it might not be my last. I'm supposed to be reading a Stine right now but this one crossed my path and I figured I had to read it to add to my inanimate object list.
{{{Note from future me: Anne has tics and OCD-esque behaviors that I'm not going to specifically discuss in this recap. I know it is a part of who her character is but I also know that those things can be triggering to people who suffer from them and I do my best not to trigger with my recaps. Just know that this is a part of her character and provides background information for why she lives her life the way she does. Peace.}}}
Definition of fictophilia: desire, physical attraction or intense feelings of love toward a fictional character.
We begin with our protagonist Anne heading home on a busy sidewalk and doing her best to avoid touching anyone. She makes it to her building and immediately bumps into her slimy landlord Jimmy who leers at her and reminds her that rent is due soon. She manages to sidestep him and lock herself in her apartment. After a quick shower, she decides to settle in with some anime because that's her way to unwind after a difficult day.
Anne tells us that she's never been interested in dating or sex with other people but she's wildly attracted to fictional characters. As she watches anime, she holds her favorite pillow between her legs and rubs against it until she....ahem.....reaches her crises (if you know what I mean).
Chapter two is from Pillow's perspective. There's a sentence I never thought I'd write. He thinks it's “glorious” that Anne “made use of him” because she's his reason for living. We get the lore behind our sentient pillow and it turns out that a feather used in it came from a phoenix. The phoenix fell in love with an ordinary goose who was killed for its feathers. The phoenix was so sad that it died too and one of its feathers got mixed in with the goose feathers and ended up in the pillow. Because the phoenix is normally a regenerative being, the feather contained a spark of life essence that was activated by Anne treating it like a sexual partner. I guess her treating it like a living being made it into a living being because of the feather???
I'm not a fan of this origin story. I think Valentine did it better in the door book and, honestly, even the magic explanation in the balloon animal book is a little better than this.
So every time Anne “uses” the pillow, it gives it more energy. It hopes that soon it will have enough to become something more human like. I don't know how. It was never human to begin with. A phoenix is a bird. If anything, wouldn't it just become a bird?
A fly comes into the room and Pillow waits, hoping the fly will land on it. When it does, Pillow somehow kills the fly and absorbs its life energy. Pillow uses that energy to keep his fabric cool and his feathers perfectly fluffed so he'll continue to be Anne's favorite pillow and she won't get rid of him.
Pillows are manipulative bastards.
The next chapter puts us back in Anne's head. She's all stressed out because one of her co-workers, Todd, keeps hitting on her and won't back off and she gets catcalled on her way home by a bunch of teenagers. It solidifies her hatred of humans and she can't wait to get to back to her pillow and her anime men.
Now we're back with Pillow. Anne's laying on him watching her shows and she's crying. He feels helpless. The insects that he's killing to get life force aren't enough to transform him so he can't comfort or protect her There's a knock at the door and Anne leaves to go answer it. Pillow can hear her talking to a man.
Wait.
Didn't Morrow JUST tell us that Pillow gets his transformative energy from Anne humping it? Now she's saying he gets it from draining the life force of other living things? She can't even keep her story straight.
Todd's at the door. He says he's there to return something and then pushes his way into her apartment, claiming he needs to pee. She tries to make him leave but he won't. Pillow watches as he comes into the bedroom and sits on the bed. Anne is crying, begging Todd to leave. Todd reaches out to pat Pillow in an invitation for Anne to join him on the bed. Pillow uses the connection to start draining Todd's life force.
Anne screams as Todd visibly ages before her eyes. She reaches out and jerks him off the bed, severing the connection before Pillow can drain him completely. Anne panics and calls 911 to report that Todd has collapsed. Pillow is bummed that Todd is still alive but figures he'll die soon enough anyway. The threat to Anne has been eradicated.
We switch back to Anne. Her co-workers all think she did something nefarious to Todd so she leaves work early to return home. When she gets inside, she can feel that something is off. She rushes back to her bedroom where she sees a “horrible thing pulsing and stretching” on her bed. It's Pillow in the middle of forming himself into a man. He's managed to make legs, feet and pants but the rest is still pillow. Actually separate pillows somehow. One for each arm, one for the head and one for the chest. So it's four pillows attached to legs and feet. There's a visual image for those of you who can do that.
I'm kind of glad I can't.
The top pillow has eyes formed on it and they watch Anne as she freaks out. He forms his mouth and speaks to her – telling her not to be afraid. She passes right the fuck out which is the only reasonable response to this. Pillow works on forming himself while she's unconscious. He uses the ink from his tag to shade in his features a little. He tells us he has human form now but the details (eyes, nose, mouth, etc) look like a sketch rather than real.
Anne's probably going to be into that.
When Anne comes to she finds what's basically a live, anime person sitting beside her. She asks him what he is and he just straight up tells her that he's her pillow. He says he's still in the process of building himself but he wanted to pause and let her decide what he ultimately looks like. Anne thinks she's hallucinating.
Again....reasonable.
Pillow asks her to describe her ideal man so he can build himself into it. She describes the butler from her favorite anime. Over the next few hours they work together to create him. He's still made of fabric but she likes that about him. It makes him less human and she can't stand humans.
Suddenly Anne realizes the implications of her pillow coming to life. She asks him how long he's been sentient and he immediately knows what she's worried about. He says “If you're wondering whether I've been aware when you've ground your gorgeous c*nt against me the answer is yes.”
Okay then.
I think that's the first time I've ever typed that word and I couldn't even bring myself to do it without censoring it.
He offers to “service” her and she finds herself considering it. She likes that he feels like fabric and not skin.
Um.
Did......did they build him a pillow dick???
Another brand new sentence.
Anne isn't ready to be serviced so she suggests holding hands. Pillow is down for it. She asks him if he has a name and he tells her to give him one. She goes with Ori because it sounds like pillow in French. I looked it up and.......kinda? They sit and chat for a bit but suddenly Ori's head folds over and Anne notices that his neck has gotten thin. Ori recovers but tells her that he's still mostly pillow and he can't survive without more life force. He explains how he drains life force out of living beings, expecting Anne to be upset. She's not. She thinks having a vampire pillow man is hilarious.
Ori asks her if she has anyone else she can feed him and she asks if he can just drain a little bit so that the person is still functional after. He thinks this is possible so she suggests taking the fabric man who looks like a living anime sketch on a walk.
Anne's plan is to walk down the busy street and just have Ori brush up against people briefly. He can drain tiny amounts from a lot of people and use that to reinforce himself. She leads him to the annoying teenagers who catcalled her first. He runs his hands over them as he passes and it's enough to solidify himself. The only thing he hasn't managed to....um....develop is his dick. So I guess that answered my question from earlier.
When they get back to the apartment, Anne tells Ori that she's ready for him to touch her. He does. She's happy that he still feels like fabric and not like skin. The inside of his mouth feels like satin which sounds awful to me but Anne likes it a lot. She reaches for his pants but he stops her and tells her that they still need to complete his.....ahem.....bolster (if you know what I mean).
Anne suggests they start with something about six inches long and then they'll build it to fit once it's inside. Ori likes the idea and gets to work. When it's complete, they take it out for a spin. Or a ride. You know what I mean. At one point, Anne grinds against his face so hard she completely flattens out his nose and he has to fluff it back up. Hopefully his....ahem....bed snake (if you know what I mean) is made of firmer stuff.
They get to it, adjusting his size as necessary and then Morrow does this to us: “I can feel your pulse around me. It's as if your heart beats only for the swell of my cock.”
So.....um.....when Ori finishes....feathers come out. Like instead of....well, you know. Feathers. I.....I can't even.....
In the next chapter, Ori and Anne consider getting a kitten. It's so fucking random. They visit an animal shelter but the kittens use their murder mittens to tear Ori's fabric and he bleeds feathers. They decide to get a goldfish instead. Why was this in here? I have no fucking idea.
Ori needs constant life force to stay functional. He hasn't told Anne this, he just skims over people when they go out. One day her asshole landlord shows up and barges into the apartment. He demands a pet deposit for the goldfish which is ridiculous. Ori drains him almost dry and then leaves him at the bottom of the stairs for someone to find. It turns out he took too much though because his wrist turns into actual skin rather than fabric. He instantly freaks out because he knows Anne won't like it. Luckily it seems contained to the one wrist. He figures it will fade as the life force gets used up.
Anne comes home from work. Ori asks her if she'd like some dinner and she says they had a pizza party at work and she's stuffed. Ori jokes that he's the one who is stuffed and that's all she wrote. Literally. The book just ends there.
I didn't like this one as much as Unhinged. Morrow couldn't keep her story straight and that always irritates me. It wasn't a hard read, though, and I'm happy to add it to my inanimate objects collection.
Plus it was better than reading Stine.
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