Saturday, November 24, 2018

The Bear and the Unicorn (SEA Book Five) by E.A. Price

**This blog contains adult language and discussion of....ahem....adult activities.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to have the story completely and utterly spoiled.

Book Description: Fired from his job at the Supernatural Enforcers Agency due to his short fuse, Zane Matthews starts his own detective agency.  Mostly it's cheating spouses with a little bit of underwear theft, and Zane spends his days trying to learn how to control his anger and get back into the SEA.  But that changes when the beautiful and kind Sky Danvers walks into his office.  She thinks she's being stalked, and his howling bear will do anything to protect her.  Even if it involves attending yoga classes and eating tofu.  But rare species are going missing across the country, and Sky is the rarest of them all.  Can he save her, learn how to control his temper and prove that he's the man she needs?

Trigger Warning:  There is mention of abduction in this book but it reads more like a zoo situation.  Still, take care of yourself if this is your particular trigger point.

This book was published in 2016.  This is my first time reading it.

So this is book 5 of the Supernatural Enforcement Agency series and I haven't read books 1-4 yet. I hope that's not going to be a problem. I don't much care if it is because I'm not reading the rest.

We begin with a prologue and our protagonist Zane is trying to get his former boss at the SEA to investigate a series of underwear thefts. Gerry (a snake shifter) isn't interested in panty-gate and tells Zane to report it to the police department. Zane's inner bear doesn't take this news too well and Zane flips it off, telling it that they wouldn't be in this mess if the bear knew how to control its anger.

So, yay. Another shifter book where the animal and human are somehow separate entities. I don't understand these, y'all.  ((Note from future me: I heard "his inner bear" did this and "her inner unicorn" did that so often I thought I was in one of those fucking Grey books listening to that bitch talk about her inner goddess.))

Zane has always had trouble controlling his bear's rage and last year he was fired from the SEA for being unable to control his temper. Things are better now because Zane has discovered paintball. Every Saturday he runs around and shoots random strangers with balls of paint and that keeps his bear under control. Because we all know how much bears long to shoot humans with balls of paint.

Zane is working as a PI now, exclusively taking shifter clients. He's hoping to find a case to take to the SEA as a way to get his foot back in the door. I have no idea why he thought stolen underpants was the way to go but whatevs.

There's a knock at the door and a stunning blonde woman comes in. Something about her elicits a protective response in Zane immediately. She introduces herself as Sky and tells Zane that someone is following her and she's scared. He can't get out of his chair fast enough. He takes her delicate hand in his and promises to protect her. As soon as he touches her, Sky knows that he's her mate and her inner unicorn paws at the ground.

Yes, gentle readers, we have a unicorn shifter. Bet that comes as a complete fucking surprise since the title didn't give it away or anything.

All of a sudden it's 8 months ago. I know this because the book helpfully says “Eight months ago”.  But we're still in the prologue.  What are you doing, Price? 

Zane is pissed at his lawyer who managed to keep him from jail but couldn't save him from community service or restitution. Zane had been charged with stalking, assault and dangerous inability to control the inner bear.

So.....does everyone know about shifters in this universe or are they in some kind of special shifter court?  ((Note from future me: humans are aware of shifters in this universe.  They're living in a town with a larger than average shifter population and the court was, indeed, a special one run by some kind of shifter agency.))

Zane had been hired by his highschool girlfriend Melissa to get some dirt on her ex-husband who was trying to stiff her out of alimony. Zane followed the guy around for awhile and then confronted him which ended in Zane shifting and mauling the dude. Sounds like a peach. Our prologue ends with Zane asking Juliet (a vampire) how he can get his job back. She tells him to get some kind of real job and prove he can control his temper.

Chapter one starts and I have no idea if it's still 8 months ago or if it's present time. Price really could have handled the above without actually transporting us confusingly through time. We find ourselves in a dive bar. The bartender Blake (a grizzly shifter) is eyeing a patron at the bar warily. The guy has been drinking steadily for hours and Blake can't get a read on what kind of species he is. He thinks feline but he isn't sure because something about the guy is majorly off.

Blake tells us that the bar is not a nice place. It's in a bad part of town and frequented by male shifters who only wanted to fight or fuck (or both). Human females with a bad-boy complex came through here in droves looking to be picked up by one of these dangerous bad boys. Several humans have tried to pick up the bad ass but he's not interested.

A bunch of people file in and someone jars the arm of the bad ass. A brief fight ensues. Eventually Blake realizes the bad ass is no longer in the bar but he doesn't know where he went. Blake's pissed because the guy owes him for four beers so he follows his scent out of the bar. There's blood in the alley and Blake can smell a tiger and a bull shifter. The scent of the bad ass ends there and Blake wonders what happened to him.

Now we're back with Zane in anger management class. It's not going well. He pretty much just ends up getting angrier in each session and fighting with someone in the parking lot. After he gets kicked out of the classes, he starts his own PI agency but things aren't good at first. Cases are scarce and he's barely making any money.

Now we're with the guy who fought the bad ass in the club. His name is Booker and he's a gorilla shifter. He tells us that the bad ass from the bar was a sabre-tooth tiger shifter which explains why he was so “primitive” and hard to identify. Booker is hot on the trail of a mammoth shifter now.

Back with Zane. I'm getting whiplash. This is all one chapter, y'all. He's at a party trailing some guy whose wife wants to catch cheating on his diet. Juliet the vampire is there and he tries to get his job back but she tells him he hasn't proven himself yet.  A guy named Christian rocks up and tries to swerve on Juliet but she is super disinterested.  

Now we're in some bookshop. An enormous prehistoric penguin shifter gets kidnapped by Booker. He's really on a roll.

Back with Zane. WILL CHAPTER ONE NEVER END??? His secretary Mercy is a dove shifter. And a stripper. There's a combination you don't see every day. Nothing really happens. He's on the case of a missing crocodile (pet, not shifter) and Mercy is bitching about being moved to the day shift at the strip club because she's 30.

How does she work in the strip club if she's Zane's secretary?

The chapter finally ends and the next one is labeled as Chapter Four.

What the fuck?

Okay, I went back and looked and there was no Chapter Two or Three. It went from One to Four.

WHAT KIND OF HELL AM I IN???

Chapter Four tells us that Zane found the crocodile and then went to go see Melissa.  He finds another shifter in her home and he can smell sex.  When he confronts her about it, she gives him some big song and dance about the shifter being her cousin and he just finished having sex with some random woman.  Zane doesn't buy it but she puts her hands on his face and tells him he has nothing to worry about.  They need to be discreet until her divorce is finalized but after that she's all his.  Suddenly he believes every word she says and turns to goo.  He leaves, dreaming of their lives together.

Now we're with Sky. She's a yoga instructor at a gym mostly frequented by shifters. The co-owner of the gym is an elk shifter named Erik and he's pretty much disgusting. He hits on women and fat shames anyone who isn't a size 0. He's tried to corner Sky multiple times, even coming into the women's locker room while she was changing. He asks her out for drinks after her class and she turns him down. He throws a little fit but finally walks off and leaves her alone. Sky heads for the bus.

While she's waiting for the bus, she senses someone watching her. She finally makes out a pair of binoculars coming from the roof of the gym. She assumes it's Erik and doesn't worry too much about it.  I feel like a normal person would be worried about it which really makes me wonder about Sky.

Binoculars actually belong to Booker who is watching Sky in preparation of kidnapping her.

Back with Zane. He's finally getting that underwear job so maybe our time warp is about to end. The lady who hired him is paying him in pies. It's all very stupid. She takes in laundry for the shifters in her neighborhood and someone keeps stealing bras and thongs off the line.

Back with Sky. She's noticed she's being followed and calls the cops but they can't seem to catch the people doing it. She wonders if it's her possessive ex Ethan (wolf shifter) who can't seem to let her go.

Back with Zane. He finds the underwear thieves. It turns out to be three teenage possum shifters who are selling the underwear to their friends. He gives them a good bear scare and then takes them back to the lady who hired him to let her decide on their punishment.

Back with Sky. I'm seriously getting whiplash here. How long is this fucking book? ARRRGH. I'm only 23% through somehow. Sky's landline is acting up. One end of the receiver falls apart and she finds a bug in it. Not the insect kind – a listening device. She's surprised that someone is actually tapping her phone. And that someone has gotten inside her apartment to tamper with it.

We're back with Booker. It turns out he's been kidnapping rare shifters to auction them off. His tip says that Sky is the rarest of them all but he has no proof. No one has ever seen her shift (her ex Ethan has but Booker doesn't know that yet). He's starting to think he's wasting his time on Sky. He gets a tip about a Sivatherium (extinct animal that was a cross between a giraffe and an okapi) and decides to follow up on that instead.

Somehow we're on Chapter Eight now. Where the fuck did Five, Six and Seven go? WHAT IS HAPPENING?????

Chapter Eight has this sub-heading: Present day – all caught up now.

Good to know.

We're back with Sky in Zane's office. He's all big and alpha and snarly and it's turning her on big time. He questions her about her issues and then gets some general information from her about her life. She tells him about Ethan. He keeps huffing and growling and it's getting her hotter and hotter. She thinks it because he's her mate but I think she's just horny.

You know.

Horny.

Because she's a unicorn. 

I give up.

Anyway, she tells us she feels her vagina sitting up and quivering in interest.

Um.

I'm 43 years old and my vagina has never sat up without me.

That's just weird.

Sky goes off on some fantasy about unibears running around and the image is pretty darn adorable.


We land back in Booker's head. He's found the odd shifter he was tipped off about but it turns out she's nothing more than a regular giraffe. She saw his face, though, so she has to die.

We're back with Zane. He's sweeping Sky's apartment for bugs and so far he's found three. She's scared and that has all his protective hackles up. She finally gets around to asking him about his fee and he falters a bit. He's in this for other reasons now and he tells her to pay whatever she can. She tells him that's a poor way to run a business and he tells her that they can come to some kind of arrangement. She raises her brows at him and he blushes, telling her that sounded way filthier than he meant it to.

Yeah right.

Zane wants to confront Ethan but Sky is no longer sure it's him. It doesn't seem like something Ethan would do. She describes him to Zane as an asshole with a bad temper and Zane is chagrined to find that Ethan sounds a lot like him. Sky tells him about Erik and Zane finds him to be a real possibility. He calls in a favor with the SEA and asks for them both to be checked out.  The background checks yield nothing useful.

Zane gets new locks for Sky's apartment and beefs up her security. He wants her to either leave town or move in with him but she balks at that. He's standing in her apartment thinking about how she has him.....ahem.....eager enough to "hammer nails through wood" with just his.....ahem......little cub, if you know what I mean.....when he notices a red SUV parked outside of her apartment. It's the same one he saw earlier in the day when they were shopping for locks.

Zane heads outside and yanks the otter shifter right through the window of the SUV. Sky is behind him and she quickly tells Zane that the otter is her neighbor's boyfriend. It turns out he was at the mall earlier to buy a ring and he's been sitting out in the SUV working up the nerve to propose. So that was all useless.

Zane goes to yoga class with Sky that evening. He's there to keep an eye on her and also to sweep the gym for bugs. He ends up finding several more and disables them all. He also overhears Erik talking about how he wants to......ahem.....floss Sky's teeth with his little elk if you know what I mean. Zane's bear doesn't care for that at all and Zane is inclined to let his bear handle it.

We interrupt those festivities to listen to Booker whine about the auction and how getting Sky isn't as easy as he thought it'd be. None of the bugs are working anymore and now she's hanging around with a 6'10” bear all the time. He doesn't even know for sure if she's actually a unicorn or just a stupid horse. He's had a tip on a gigantopithecus (think King Kong) in NYC so he decides to head up there and see if he can bag it. Not sure I'd take on King Kong but whatevs.

We take a side trip into Juliet's head.  She's been invited on a date by Christian and goes out of curiosity more than anything else.  Something about him makes her uneasy so she calls a friend to keep an eye on him.

We're back with Zane and his bruised knuckles. It had started out mild – he had pinned Erik up against the wall and told him to leave Sky alone. Erik had started sobbing and apologizing and Zane had let him go in disgust. But then Erik called Zane a.....ahem......baby exit, if you know what I mean.....and Zane didn't care for that much. Erik's lucky he only got punched.

((Side note: Price completely forgot Melissa's name during this chapter and referred to her as Melanie at least twice. Sigh.))

Sky suggests dinner and ends up taking him to a vegetarian place. Zane is highly suspicious of everything on his plate. He sniffs it and licks it but doesn't seem to actually be able to eat any of it.  The image of him suspiciously licking his tofu is darling.  Sky is amused at first but then she starts to feel bad for him. He's obviously trying not to tell her that tofu sucks but she can tell he's not into it.

Of course he's not into it.  When's the last time you saw a fucking bear opt for tofu?

After dinner they head back to Sky's apartment and Zane sweeps for bugs again. Sky checks her machine and there's a profane/threatening message from Ethan. Zane overhears it and gets all growly. She tries to calm him down and he seems amused by her efforts. He kisses the inside of her wrist which gets her all swoony and then he tells her to go take a shower so she prances off to do as he says.

What the hell was that?

Sky gets better acquainted with her right hand while in the shower, if you know what I mean, and then shaves her southern pelt into a pretty little heart. She has big plans to seduce Zane but when she comes out of the bathroom in only a towel there's a gator shifter on her couch instead. He introduces himself as Wayne, a friend of Zane's and shows her SEA ID.

We weirdly land in the head of the sabre-tooth tiger shifter for just a bit. He's being held in a cage and he's pretty pissed about it. Some asshole comes in to take all their pictures and ends up dropping his keys while trying to wrestle the giant penguin into submission. Sabre snags them.

Back with Zane and his bloody hands. He's given Ethan a bit of a beating. We actually learn nothing else and ALL OF A FUCKING SUDDEN IT'S FUCKING CHAPTER 16.

We're back in Sky's head. It's pretty full of thoughts of Zane naked so there's not a lot of room in here for us. When she looks at him, she sighs. And not just any sigh. I'm going to direct quote this bitch.

She awoke in the morning to find Wayne gone and Zane snoring on her couch looking like a giant, drooling angel. Unicorn sigh. Which was like a regular sigh but more mystical.”

Fucking book.

Sabre ends up killing most of the personnel at the.....I have no idea where they're being held....a lab?.......a warehouse?.....no clue. But anyway, he kills a bunch of people before they manage to subdue him again. The bodies get dumped by the docks and the SEA comes to investigate. Nothing really happens except we meet a bunch of new characters that I actually think are the characters from the first four books. I don't care enough to learn their names.

Zane has to work an actual job to make actual money so he takes Sky along on a stakeout. They chat while he watches the house of his subject. She asks about his parents and he's carrying a lot of pain around that subject. He gets so upset that he almost goes full bear (claws and fur pop out) but manages to control it. She pats his head and calls him a good boy which amuses the hell out of him.

It's Chapter Nineteen now. I fucking give up.

At 3am Sky wakes up to find a huge bear in her kitchen eating a stack of pizzas. She tries to talk to him but he's a fucking bear and doesn't speak English. Finally he shifts back into human and she doesn't even hide the fact that she's checking out his little cub. Which apparently isn't very little. Zane ignores it. He's frustrated about all the tofu he's had to eat and he rants for a bit about how he's a fucking bear and he wasn't meant to eat so many vegetables. Luckily Sky finds it adorable and she moves closer “aware of the weapon he was packing downstairs.” Yes, it actually says that. It's a direct quote, y'all.

Sky decides to let him see the true nature of her beast and she shifts. Zane is stunned. He thought she was just a horse all this time.

We take a hop into the head of some kind of rare tortoise shifter. She's about to be kidnapped by Booker's men when a masked man rocks up and takes care of that nonsense.  I get the feeling this masked superhero-esque shifter is a recurring character in this series.  Later, Juliet is frustrated that they can never seem to find the guy.

Now we're in Booker's head. He wants the auction moved up. He's tired of this nonsense. He's been doing this for ten years and never had a problem but this year he's losing men left and right. The giant penguin does nothing but cry. The mammoth in the cage next to hers has it bad for the penguin and causes all kinds of trouble. The King Kong thing (which happens to be a woman) is boring and not likely to bring in much money and Sabre has a definite psychological disorder (Booker's assessment, not mine. I think Sabre just doesn't like being kidnapped much.).

Zane takes Sky paintballing next. She enjoys it and he finds her enthusiasm immensely sexy. Nothing happened.

Another section about the auction not going well. Shoot me now.

More Juliet being suspicious of Christian.  Impale me on a spike.

Back with Zane and Sky. They decide to shower after the paintball game and....somehow....instead of getting clean, things get absolutely filthy.

We finally have our first sex scene!


I'll give this to Price, she writes sex better than she writes dialogue.

It's Chapter Twenty-Three now. I've stopped trying to figure this numbering thing out. Price tells us two weeks have passed. Maybe that's what happened to the missing chapters. Sky gives us some pretty pervy details about her sex life with Zane that I'm just going to skip. Let's just say that yoga opens up some pretty odd possibilities.

Zane is supposed to meet Sky after her class but he doesn't show up. He doesn't respond to her texts either which is unusual. In fact, just a few days ago, he answered a text while in the middle of battling an alligator so it's strange that he's not responding. Sky doesn't seem too worried about this for some reason. She just takes the bus home. Once she gets home, it seems to sink in how weird it is that she hasn't heard from him. She's got some kind of tracking thing on her phone that finds his phone (and he has it to find hers) so she uses it and finds out that his phone is in the park.

We skip to Zane. He's tied to a tree with silver chains which diminishes his powers and physically hurts him. Melissa has somehow overpowered him and captured him. He gets some kind of flashback to being in a similar situation and he suddenly realizes Melissa did this to him once before. In high school.

Melissa admits that she's a witch and she enchanted him all those years ago which is why he's always been willing to run to her aid before. She needed someone big and powerful at the time to make sure her life was as easy as possible. Her touch can persuade him of anything but lately it's been wearing off so she needs to recast it. She tells him that he won't remember any of this when it's done and he won't want Sky anymore either.

Zane is going crazy at this point but the silver chains keep his bear from emerging. Melissa is just standing there bad guy monologue-ing all over the place with a giant bear shifter chained to a tree. Seriously, does no one notice this?  What's wrong with the people in this town that they are willing to overlook some woman tying a man to a tree?

Melissa tells him she married her ex because he had more money than Zane could ever hope to make but she got tired of him and decided it would be nice to have Zane again. He's “hot and great in bed, super protective and easy to manipulate”. Melissa's plan is to recast the spell and then.....ahem....take Zane's seed.....to make sure he stays loyal to her forever. She thinks a cub will do that.

Sky rocks up at this point. She tells Melissa to leave Zane alone. Melissa tries to zap her with some magic but it has no effect. Because Sky is a magical being? I don't know. Price doesn't explain it.  ((Note from future me: Later Sky tells Zane that magic has no effect on her because she's magical herself.))  Sky shifts and her unicorn beats the absolute crap out of Melissa. Melissa goes down and Sky goes to nuzzle Zane against the tree. She mostly just succeeds in poking the hell out of him with her horn and he tells her to get her “horniness under control”.

Okay. That was kind of funny and I probably would have made the joke myself if Price hadn't.

Sky shifts back and stands there having a conversation in the park with Zane despite the fact she's 100% naked at this point. Zane doesn't mind but in these parts, she'd definitely get arrested for that.  Apparently people in this town are very used to nude people being out and about since it has such a huge shifter population.  She's surprised that he's not clawing at the tree in fury right now and he tells her that he's distracted by her boobs. Plus she makes him feel calmer.

Before the section ends we find out that Booker has been having Sky trailed and the spy has seen her shift. They know she's a unicorn for sure now.

Zane and Sky go to the SEA to report Melissa for crimes against shifters or something. They're interrogated separately and Zane has to deal with all of his agent friends coming in to laugh at him for being under a spell for 15 years and not knowing it. When he finally gets done, he finds out that Sky has gone to the coffee shop across the street. Which just seems super dumb. I hate it when authors make their characters do dumb things they'd never, ever do just to make it easier for their plot.

Sure enough, Sky gets grabbed and drugged and abducted.

Zane goes crazy when he realizes she's gone. He immediately shifts and goes running through the SEA offices in fury. The polar bear shifter in residence wrestles him down and sits on him for an entire hour until he calms down enough to shift back. Stupid Zane. An hour is a very long time that you could have been looking for Sky. The SEA has looked into things and surveillance cameras picked up the van she was taken away in but the van was stolen and later found under a bridge so that lead goes nowhere. Zane tells them that she's a unicorn and one of the agents begins to put things together.

Sky comes to in the warehouse or whatever it is. Booker tells her the buyers will be here in 30 minutes so she should try to make herself as presentable as possible. She starts to give him trouble but stops when he threatens to kill the giant penguin if Sky doesn't cooperate. The mammoth pretty much loses his fucking mind at the idea. I hope those two get a happy ending.

Not like that. Get your minds out of the gutter.

Sabre fills her in about what's going on. He gets tazed for his trouble but he just smirks at Booker which pisses Booker off. I really like Sabre, y'all. I wonder if he gets his own book.

What am I thinking? I'm not reading another one of these. Holy fuck.

We're back with Zane and the SEA agents that I suspect were books 1-4. Juliet is also back.  She's pretty high-ranking in the organization and it could be because she has the ability to make shifters do her bidding. They're all outside of an abandoned arena and Juliet is pretty sure Sky is inside. I have no idea if she's right or not because Price hasn't ever told me where this holding place is.

Zane and Juliet intercept a couple of the buyers and steal their clothes so they are now in disguise. For all the fucking good that does. Every shifter in that place is going to sniff out Zane pretty quick and I'm guessing the vampire isn't hard to identify either. How many vampires are running around this stupid town?  ((Note from future me: Apparently they're pretty common in this place too.))

Oh. Price actually address this issue by saying Juliet douses them both in cheap perfume to hide their scents. Okay. I'll give her that one. Although I find it hard to believe that perfume alone could fool a bunch of shifters.

They snag the couple's invitation and rock up to the area. Zane's bear is howling inside him right now.

We're back with Sky. Buyers have been parading past her for awhile now and she's not liking it much. From most of them, she senses lust and figures they want to fuck a unicorn......

Oh, my God. I can't stop laughing right now. No one else is going to find this funny either. But in my crochet groups people constantly post things that start with “Has anyone ever.....” and the ending is always really stupid. “Has anyone ever made a blanket with blanket yarn?” I always want to strangle them because, of course, someone has at some point, right? So my standard response (in my head) is that unless that sentence ends with “fucked a unicorn” then the answer is always going to be yes. And here we are. It makes me happy.

Anyway, she senses that most want an exotic pet for sex (you shouldn't have sex with pets, people) but a couple of them are giving off vibes that they want to barbecue her instead. Those people worry her more. She's really hoping someone will buy her as a pet for a spoiled little princess instead.

She and Sabre are attracting the most attention and he's just a madman about it. I fucking love this guy. He's made it very clear to everyone who approaches his cage exactly what kind of mayhem they'll be buying if they purchase him. The smart ones are giving his cage a wide berth but Sky notices a few women who are more than a little hot for the bad boy.

Sky is keeping an eye on Sabre. She feels like he has some kind of plan going on in his head and she intends to piggy-back that plan if she gets the chance. She has nothing. She sees a vampire and a huge guy in a ridiculous suit heading her way and doesn't recognize Zane for half a second in his bad wig. But her unicorn goes nuts and she realizes he's found her.

Zane and Juliet approach her cage and they have a quiet conversation. Juliet wants to take down the entire organization of course and tells Zane not to kill anyone while she takes a look around. Zane makes no promises. Sky tells him she loves him and that pisses him off royally. He thinks she's saying it because she's given up and she doesn't trust him to get her out of the situation alive. He tells her to take it back and then say it again later when he has his mouth......ahem......in her southern hemisphere if you know what I mean.

Sky tells him she's heard the guards mentioning a control room. Maybe if he can get in there and turn off the power, the locks on the cages will open. He doesn't want to leave her. He's been giving all the buyers a nasty growl if they even look at her and he wants to stay there and do that. She encourages him to go, though. They need to get out of there. They are wickedly outnumbered at this point. If only she knew that they only had to let Sabre go and everything would probably be okay. Between him and Zane and maybe the mammoth, I think things would tilt in their favor.

Juliet gets herself captured. Stupid vampire. Apparently the little wristbands everyone was given as they walked through the door has some kind of tazing device built right in and it's strong enough to subdue vampires. It turns out Christian is the head of this little criminal empire and he's planning to keep her for his own personal pet.

We're back with Sky. Booker and his goons have let Sabre out. Sky is expecting something dramatic but Sabre just gives them an evil little smile. He winks at her as he's led away and this gives her hope.

Zane has managed to take out a security guard. He puts on the uniform including a handy bullet-proof vest and a utility belt. He easily finds a control room but it's full of people – three humans, a snake shifter and a jaguar shifter. The jaguar seems suspicious of him but no one else pays him any attention. The control room overlooks the area floor and Zane watches as Sabre is brought out. The snake shifter mans the microphone and begins giving the potential buyers stats about Sabre. They leave out the murdering part. Sabre is encouraged to shift and he does so with a dangerous little smile. Zane can't figure out what he's up to.

Bidding is insane and Sabre is eventually sold to some woman for over 10 million dollars. Through it all he's just smiling in a way that Zane can't understand. He makes his way downstairs to the holding area hoping to get a chance to talk to the guy. Sabre is now cuffed in his cage with his buyer inspecting her merchandise. Zane wishes someone would give Sabre pants because he's apparently impressive down below (Zane calls it a motorboat – wouldn't a yacht be more impressive here?) and he doesn't want Sky to catch sight of it.  Is he afraid she's going to want to take a sail?

Zane steps up close and kind of nudges Sabre to clue him in that something is about to go down and then all hell breaks loose. Zane shifts and starts taking people down left and right. Sabre can't shift because of the silver handcuffs but it doesn't really hinder him much. He starts killing everything within reach.....and laughing the entire time. I love this guy, y'all. He's the only reason I'm sitting her voluntarily reading this book on a Friday morning. Eventually Zane shifts back to find the keys to the cuffs. Sabre is generally enjoying himself a little too much and Zane growls at him not to play with his food.

Sabre is a little suspicious of Zane until he explains that his girl is in one of the cages. Sabre finally speaks and asks Zane what he wants him to do. Zane tells him to just make a little mayhem as a distraction and Sabre smiles.

Back in the cages with Sky. The penguin is led away and the mammoth is about to lose it. Sky notices that he's close to shifting which is incredible because they've all been drugged to keep it from happening. His anger about someone touching the penguin is pushing him past the drugs though. Sky takes advantage of that. She casually starts wondering what might happen to the penguin and gets a little graphic. The mammoth is enraged and shifts. The guards don't know what to do. The cage isn't going to hold him but they can't tranq him this close to auction time. No one will want to buy an unconscious animal. Sky encourages the mammoth to break out and save his girl.

Back with Zane. He's pretending to be a security guard again while Sabre is just tearing the fucking place apart.

Wait.  Shouldn't he be naked?  He shifted earlier so he should be naked now.  KEEP TRACK OF YOUR FUCKING STORY, PRICE!  This crap annoys me more than anything else.

Zane gets back to the control booth intending to get power shut off. The jaguar shifts and attacks. Zane shifts too but he's slow and the jaguar has his teeth in Zane's stomach before he can react. Zane is hurt and bleeding and he thinks it might be a catastrophic injury but he can't stop. He can't get the jaguar off him so he starts ramming the cat into the control panel. Eventually he hits the right thing.

Back in the cages, Sky has pissed the mammoth off to the point he busts out of his cage. She's thrilled until the guards start shooting him with a metric crap ton of sedative, having no choice in the matter now. He starts crashing around and luckily falls on Queen Kong's cage. She shifts and begins literally tearing people apart. Sky is hopeful. And then her cage opens and she realizes Zane has turned off the locks.

We're back with Christian and Juliet. He's calling her darling and describing how he's going to keep her captive forever as kind of a forced bride. She's not liking it much but he keeps tazing her so there's not much she can do. Suddenly she smells someone coming. Someone dangerous and sexy (her words, not mine). The door splinters open and Sabre is there. Christian about wets his pants. He tries to go for his gun but Sabre shifts and makes quick work of destroying Christian. Juliet enjoys his screams.

Meanwhile, the captive shifters are all free now and boy are they pissed. Zane walks through the place seeing murder and mayhem going on all around him. He should probably get out of that security uniform before he's mistaken as a bad guy. Then again, he should be naked because he shifted in the control room. He's pretty badly injured but determined to find Sky. He's scared to death that something might have happened to her.

Back with the mammoth now. He's shifted back to human form and he's high as fuck singing “I'm a little tea pot”. The penguin is doing her best to take care of him and get him out of there but he's way too high. Sky appears and encourages them to flee. Mammoth says he wants to kill Booker and every man who touched his penguin. Wow....that sounded super dirty. The penguin is all aflutter at this. The flutter gets worse when mammoth tells her he loves her. The two hadn't met before captivity but being in a cage beside each other for more than a month forms some pretty strong bonds.

We're back with Zane. He and the jaguar have stopped being pissed at each other. The jaguar is focused on saving the life of the human he loves who has been horribly injured in the melee. He tells Zane to get Booker. Christian was in charge on paper but Booker really runs the show and he's responsible for everything that happened to the captives. He tells Zane that Booker is on the roof waiting for a copter and soon he'll be out of reach.

Zane reaches the roof before Booker boards. He scents Booker as a gorilla and is a bit concerned.

This brings up a question I've never pondered before in my life. Who do you think would win in a fight? A grizzly bear or a gorilla? I'm conducting a poll on Facebook and so far most people are betting on Booker in this fight. I think Zane's pissed, though, so that changes things slightly. What he needs is Sabre.

Booker seems really confident and Zane doesn't recognize why until two bullets slam into him from behind. He goes down in agony, already pretty badly wounded from the jaguar. Booker kicks him in the face and starts working him over. For the first time Zane realizes he's in a fight he might not win.

He senses Sky an instant before he sees her. He's terrified she'll get hurt but then she impales Booker right through the chest with her horn. Zane is almost more shocked than Booker but far less dead. Sky shifts back to check on Zane who definitely needs a hospital at this point. He tries to tell her he loves her but she won't let him do it. She says he can't say it until her mouth is south of his hemisphere if you know what I mean.

But then she gets all sappy and tells him all the reasons she loves him and he pulls her in for a hug. She lands on him and the pain actually makes him cry but he figures he can play it off as tears of happiness.

Suddenly everyone is on the roof. The high-as-fuck mammoth is there with his penguin, Sabre shows up carrying the weakened vampire, a bunch of SEA agents start flashing guns around. All's well that ends well.

Somehow we're on Chapter Thirty-Seven. I have no idea where the rest of them went. Maybe the person who numbered these things was high-as-fuck too. Some time has passed. The SEA took all the credit for bringing down the shifter trafficking ring. Assholes. It was Zane and Sabre who did the damn work. The SEA just showed up at the end.

Sky has been given the bonding mark which apparently means Zane bit her and said “mine” and that's all it takes for the predator class. Sexy. Sky's people do some kind of ritual that involves a full moon and nakedness but they have to wait for that. Full moons don't exactly appear on demand. Zane is apparently a horrible patient – refusing to take meds and pulling off bandages and not at all interested in limiting his....ahem....physical activity.

Juliet offers him his job back but he turns it down. He tells Sky about this meeting while....ahem.....playing her fiddle, if you know what I mean....and she can barely even concentrate on the conversation long enough to ask him any questions about it. It turns out that Zane likes working for himself better than he liked working for the group. Sky jumps him before we can learn much more and things get very, very descriptive.

The Epilogue lands us with Juliet. Everyone involved has been questioned. The captives are all released after giving a statement and more than 200 people were arrested and awaiting trial. There is just one problem keeping the case from being closed.

Sabre.

He refuses to give a statement to any of the agents and they won't release him until he does. He's mostly behaving – no one's died – but Juliet isn't pleased. She goes down to question him herself. She tries to use her mystical ability to cower him into submission and he pretty much just laughs at her. He seems to find her really amusing. She's frustrated as hell at her inability to control him. He sniffs her and it pisses her off. Sabre tells us that the vampire is his mate and then the book ends.

Oh, man. I bet he's book six. I'm going to look.

He's book six.

And it's on Kindle Unlimited.

I'm trying to tell myself I'm not going to like him as a main character. He was fun as an ancillary character but surely he can't carry an entire book.

Right?

Please.


Oh, fuck it. I'm reading book six.

So this book wasn't our usual shifter crap.  It had an actual plot and only two super-descriptive sex scenes.  I might have loved it if I hadn't been distracted by the chapter numbering and if I had cared about Zane or Sky.  I didn't really care about either of them.  Sabre carried the book for me so I'm going to give it more stars on Goodreads than it probably deserves.


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