Christmas Dragon Style by Serena Akeroyd

**This blog contains adult language and discussion of....ahem....adult activities.**

Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to have the story completely and utterly spoiled.

Book Description: With Christmas around the corner, Sanguenna and leader of her coven, Mia LeRoche, has nothing more on her mind than a lucrative holiday season at her night club.  Then, a dragon pops up in her life, informs her he's her mate, doesn't understand the internet, is seriously confused by Netflix, and continuously calls her his "lemon".  Once friends with the Vikings, Remy Dreconis has seen and done a lot.  What he hasn't done, however, is his mate.  The horizontal tango is in his future if she can get past the fact that he was around for the Black Death and really doesn't understand how cell phones work.  For five centuries, the Mother has forsaken dragonkind, denying them their lemans because of a heinous crime committed by one of her children.  Remy and Mia must transverse a new phase in dragon society, creating history as they go.  But Mia's stuck on the fact she has to live in a realm with no cell service and Remy's obsession with books tops her love of Jimmy Choo's.  This odd couple shouldn't have what it takes to form a lasting mate-bond, but the Mother knows something they don't.

Oh, my soul, that book description is flawed.  It makes the whole book sound more like a comedy than it is.  His confusion of Netflix and other modern things doesn't really come up much.  I think it's a sentence or two dropped into a conversation.  Certainly not a major plot point.  And he's not exactly obsessed with books - it's his job.  They're not exactly an odd couple either.  There's very little conflict between them.  They seem really well matched from the beginning.  It also makes Remy sound like he's just in it for the sex which is the biggest lie ever told by a book description.  If I had read this before reading the book I would have been expecting something much different than I actually read.

Before we begin, since the description mentioned these two things, I thought I'd clear up "leman" and "Mother".  Leman is the dragon word for mate.  Remy uses it as a description (think "wife") and as an endearment.  Mother is kind of like the dragon God.  She's not to be confused with their Queen.

This book was published in 2017 and is part of a series about the dragons and the Sanguennas.  I know book 2 is out already.  I think that's as far as she's gotten.  This is my first reading of it though I've had it on my Kindle for almost a year.  I was saving it for December.  It's advertised as a stand-alone, complete book which is another lie.  This book has no ending.

Here we go.

Literally the first sentence of this book is........

“His tongue slithered through the folds of her sex like a professional.”

I don't even know her name yet. Or his. I guess we're jumping right in.  

Also, "slithered" is an awful word to use.

After the most detailed description of oral sex I've ever read in my entire life, we're told it's a dream and our protagonist Mia wakes up. She tells us that she's a powerful woman. She came to her position of power through brute force and keen intelligence. I thought she was some kind of CEO but then she says she's been the head of a coven for more than a century and too busy to take a lover so she's forced to dream all her sex instead.  And lately the dreams have been vivid.

We leave that and cut to a scene where Mia is arguing with her assistant Brady who may or may not be a vampire. Brady is pissed about Christmas because the Christians ripped off a Pagan holiday (accurate – look it up). Mia likes Christmas so she doesn't mind the theft so much.

Brady is a “daywalker” which means he had a human mother and a vampire father. He can be out in the sunlight, doesn't need blood to live and never has to sleep. But he's mortal and won't live past 100 without help so there's that. Mia is a vampire too but a purebred one – a nightwalker. She will live until the sunlight claims her. The nightwalkers of the world find the daywalkers very useful. They understand the lifestyle and can take care of everything during the sunny hours. Brady had been Mia's assistant for 40 years. In return, she feeds on him and keeps him young.

When I read the word "coven" I thought witch but she's not a witch at all.  I guess I forgot vampires had covens too.  Do vampires have covens?  Is this a thing?  Pardon me, I must Google.

Time passes in real life........

Right.  Vampire covens are considered to be family groups although the vampires within the group are probably not actually related.  I'd forgotten that.

Mia is practically vampire royalty.  Her parents were dignitaries and very high up in the vampire society.  She grew up at court basically and knows the ins and outs better than anyone.  She's not close with her parents.  She hasn't even seen them in decades and they don't talk.

Mia owns a nightclub as her legitimate job. It's located in half of an enormous warehouse in Tribeca (lower Manhattan, New York City). Mia, Brady and the rest of her trusted coven live in the other half of the warehouse. She's having the nightclub decorated for Christmas which is why we're suddenly having a conversation about the holiday. Apparently Brady's mother was killed by a drunk driver on Christmas Eve fifteen years ago and he hates the holiday now.

Mia takes Brady back into the chambers and does the blood exchange that he needs. Afterwards he is blood drunk and goes immediately to sleep.  She realizes that she took more than usual.  She's been thirstier lately and she isn't sure why.  If she wasn't a vampire, I'd suggest she get tested for diabetes or a UTI.

She heads for her office where she scents a reptilian shifter. She thinks it's a dragon but they are very rare and barely seen outside their realm so she dismisses it as a mistake on her part.  When she reaches her office there's an enormous male waiting there for her. She tells us he's seven foot tall and built like The Rock. He's wearing a very expensive tailored suit but all she can think about is how much she wants to bite him. He's gorgeous, of course and has dark hair with silver eyes. She can see the nictitating membrane and that confirms to her that he's a dragon.

He could be about a hundred other kinds of reptile, amphibian or even mammal but this is just a token protest because I've read the stupid title and I know what he is.

His name is Remy. He tells Mia that they have “need of each other” which raises her eyebrow because she's a powerful woman and doesn't really have need of anyone except blood donors. He asks her if she's been taking more blood than usual and having unusual dreams. She's offended at his familiarity. Vampires have a very strict code of conduct and he's just smashing it to bits. He apologizes and mutters about not being able to keep up with vampire propriety.

Apparently Mia is a rare kind of vampire called a Sanguenna. They are the most powerful kind and they...... “go into heat”. Mia is super offended at this terminology. She thinks it's a good thing that dragons are such solitary creatures because they suck at relating to other people. Anyway, Remy says he sensed that his mate was “coming into her time” and he's been flying around to investigate the other five Sanguennas in the world. None of them were his mate. Only a Sanguenna is powerful enough to carry a baby dragon and Mia's body is sending out signals to him that it's ready to make a little dragonling.

Mia tries to digest this. She tells him that she doesn't believe they are mated because she doesn't feel anything toward him. He tells her it doesn't work unless she meets his beast.

That sounded filthy.

Mia knows she can't see his beast without going into another realm because dragons are forbidden to shift in this world. She doesn't think she can trust him to take her there and bring her back. He produces his phone and plays videos from all the other Sanguennas vouching that he was honorable and would bring her back.  ((Which just proves he DOES understand cell phones and how they work despite the book description.))

Mia doesn't even know if she can trust them. They aren't friends. It's a lonely tribe or position or calling or whatever. Remy tries to reassure her. He tells her that a dragon has exactly 16,072 scales. If they have even one less they cannot fly. The first Sanguenna (Lara) asked him to give one of his scales for collateral and he gave it to her. It will be weeks before it fully grows back and until then he's hobbled (right now it's grown back enough he can fly a very short distance). I think he told her this to prove he was a good guy because he gave into Lara's demand instead of just taking her by force.

Remy tells us that he had been super thankful to find that Lara was not his mate. She knew what giving her a scale would cost him and she knew the pain involved with removing one and she'd demanded it anyway. He didn't really want to be forever tied to someone like that.

Mia asks him to promise that he won't hurt her and he tells her he will swear a blood oath. They both puncture their palms and hold them together mixing their blood as he vows to protect her with his life.

I feel like this is a good place to remind my readers that blood oaths are NOT a good idea in this day and age.  Bloodborne pathogens are an actual thing.  Protect yourselves, people.

Now that that part is over, Mia has some concerns. She wants to know how long she'll be gone. He tells her that if they aren't mates she'll be returned immediately. If they are mates, it's a little more complicated. Mia isn't a fan of giving up her life to this strange man. He vows not to restrict her life but she's smarter than that. She knows if she's his mate he won't want her to return to her world or her life because he can't live there too. He tells her he can live there, he just can't shift there but she isn't appeased.

Remy tells her that he could never be happy if his mate was unhappy. He vows to compromise with her and to try to make everything work. She doesn't seem as inclined but she knows she really doesn't have much choice if they are mated. These things are just out of a paranormal person's control. She agrees to go to his realm with him to see if they are indeed fated.

Remy takes her to one of the portal points and transports her to his realm where the dragons, goblins and elves live. People can't enter this realm without an invitation and one isn't issued often so most paranormal beings never get to experience it. Mia thinks it's wild and beautiful. Like the Scottish moors. The colors are more vivid here like seeing in HD for the first time and everything glitters. Even Remy is hotter here.

He shifts into a glorious, fire-breathing dragon and Mia's entire being is engulfed with heat. And it's not coming from Remy's fire breath. She's burning from the inside and she can tell that he recognizes it. A tear forms in his eye and falls to the ground where it breaks into tiny diamond crystals. Mia is overwhelmed with what's going on inside her body and she faints.

Remy shifts back into human form. He wants to go to Mia but there are rituals to perform. First he has to pick up every shard of his tear. A dragon only sheds two tears in his life – one when he finds his mate and the second when his 'ling is born. The crystal shards of his tear are what Mia must wear during the mating ceremony. As soon as they are safely gathered, he rushes to Mia's side. He picks her up and carries her into a cave to protect her from the cold.

Mia comes too and instantly knows they are mated. She tells him to put her down and he argues that she is still too weak. This pisses her off and she informs him that she's in charge of her own body. Remy agrees and releases her and she immediately falls.  She's not just weak - her body is pretty much paralyzed.  He catches her at the very last second and picks her up again. Remy tells her that it's part of the “mate bond's activation” and when the bond is settled on her, she'll regain her strength.

Mia is a little overwhelmed. After being alive for centuries she'd pretty much accepted that she would never be mated and now this is all a little much for her to handle. Remy is really sympathetic. He knows there is no rhyme or reason to why the two of them are mated. He's been asleep for a couple of centuries and only awakened because her “heat” called out to him.

When Mia's feeling a little better, Remy takes her to his home which is another cave. They travel by air – Remy carries her in his dragon's claws. He tells her when her body is working better again, she can ride on his back instead. In fact, she'll have a special saddle to make sure she's comfortable and safe. After her initial shock, she's taken to this mated thing pretty well. She sees it as a gift from the fates and a blessing that she'll no longer spend her life alone.

They approach his cave and Mia is a little out of sorts about having to give up her hip and trendy home for a literal rock. Not only that, but she's starting to get feeling back in her arms and it's that pins and needles feeling you get when your foot falls asleep and then wakes up. She's miserable and in pain and upset that her mate is seeing her like this. As he puts her down and shifts back to human, she starts to cry.

Remy is distressed by her tears and apologizes for essentially doing this to her. He carries her into his home which is one enormous room the size of a football field. There are hot springs and flower walls and a huge seating area. In the middle is a pile of gems and she asks Remy about it. He tells her that dragons usually sleep in big piles of treasure and that is his bed. She snaps at him that she needs an actual bed and then she feels bad about it and apologizes. He tells her not to worry about it - she's entitled to a period of grace right now.

I like this guy.  A lot.

Remy thinks a bath in the hot springs will help her aches and Mia quickly agrees. She still can't move the lower half of her body, though, so he has to help her get undressed. She finds this all very sexy. He undresses and joins her in the hot springs and she wishes she wasn't half-paralyzed because she's ready to consummate their mate-bond already.

You JUST met the guy.

After the bath, we fast forward a day and a half. Mia is still unable to use her legs.  Remy tells her that every leman's experience is different.  Some have paralysis of the arms instead.  Sometimes it goes away quickly and other times it takes longer.

 Two visitors arrive to tell Remy that there's some kind of problem with another dragon.  The girl is named Alexa which is easy enough.  The boy is named something complicated but it looks like Erik so that's what I'll call him. The dragon causing the problem has a complicated name  too but it's close to George so that's what we're calling him.  George has been pissing off goblins and being generally annoying. 

Mia questions the interlopers about the situation.  George has been an issue for some time.  Before he left to find Mia, Remy gave him a potion that would keep him asleep until his own mate went into heat.  It was a little underhanded to do but Remy couldn't go off on his search and leave George to his own devices.  Sooner or later George would piss off the wrong person and get into trouble and Remy cares too much about him to let that happen.  George awakened almost immediately though which means his mate is also ready. Mia asks why he hasn't gone to look for her and no one knows the answer to that.

During this conversation, Mia realizes that Remy must be in a position of power in this realm because Alexa and Erik are seeking his advice. Remy asks them to bring George to him. They leave.

After they're gone, Mia asks how long her paralysis will last. Remy doesn't know. The stronger the bond, the longer it lasts. Sometimes it's just hours and sometimes it's weeks. Mia is horrified at the thought of laying around for weeks. She asks Remy why it happens and he tells her that it forces the dragon and his mate to spend time together and to develop an intimacy without having sex.  Mia doesn't like the part about not having sex.  She pretty much wants it 24/7 but Remy seems content to wait.

She asks him about dragon life. They are a closed-mouthed bunch and not much is known about them on the outside. He tells her that they are only allowed a single dragonling and that it will be in the nest for two centuries before being considered grown. Dragons can live for thousands of years but it's a lonely existence. Sometimes it takes most of their lives to find their mate. Once they do, their mate will live as long as they do.

She asks him about his power position and he tells her there are six dragon “houses” in his realm and he is the head of one of them. Essentially he's like a Prince. Mia is pretty impressed with this but she's more impressed with the care and compassion he has shown her. She tells him she's glad to be his mate. He tells her that no one means more to him than her.

Serious swoon.

George shows up and Mia is astonished at how gorgeous he is as well.  Apparently dragons are hot in more ways than one.  Remy greets him like an old friend and introduces Mia to him. George comes to bow before her and he pledges his loyalty to her and tells her he'll defend her with his life essentially. Mia likes George immediately. He has a bit of cheeky lad about him and she likes that.

Mia asks George why he doesn't go find his mate and he dances around it until she gets pissed off and demands an answer. He finally says he won't go find her because he fears for her life. Mia won't just let that go and she asks for an explanation. Apparently 500 years ago, George's father went insane and killed his mate. As a punishment the Mother prevented any of them from finding their mates after that. Remy got so lonely that he put himself into a deep sleep for centuries only awakening when Mia's heat called to him.  The idea of that touches her.

Remy says he doesn't know why he was allowed to find a mate after 500 years of punishment but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. George is much more suspicious. Plus, he worries that the insanity that caused his father to kill his mother might be passed down to him. He doesn't want to hurt his mate too. Mia tells him he's being ridiculous. If the Mother allowed them to find their mates, there must be a reason.

George is resistant to Mia's logic. She tells him to grow up. If he doesn't want to find his mate, fine, but stop acting like a dick and picking fights with the goblins.  It's only going to make trouble for Remy and that's not fair.  George challenges her authority which pisses Remy off.  He reminds George to be respectful.

Mia tells George how miserable the heat is. How out of control and awful she felt before Remy showed up. She urges him to find his mate to ease her misery. George stubbornly digs his heels in and leaves.

For days, Remy is down in the dumps. He's worried about his friend and doesn't know how to help. Finally he decides he has to let it go. It's almost time for him to present Mia at court and for that she'll need her ceremonial garb. They have to take his diamond tear shards into goblin territory and they'll make the dress for her.

We get some more dragon lore here. Each House is responsible for guarding rare books of a certain specialty. Which explains why he has so many book laying around the house. His House specializes in book about healing.  It literally never comes up again so I don't know what the purpose of this even was.

Remy's scale is pretty much healed so he tells Mia as soon as her dress construction is underway and he gets everything settled with Alexa, they can go back to Mia's realm. As soon as she has use of her legs, though, and can properly curtsy, they have to return to go see the Queen. Mia hopes it will be after Christmas.

Mia is surprised to see that goblins are the size of Yorkies (the dog). They're ugly with flat faces and green skin but they seem friendly and they're happy to see Remy. Mia can't understand their language but he seems to. She's a little embarrassed that she has to be carried around but no one seems to pay much attention to her so she relaxes. Besides, she likes being cuddled up close to Remy.

They visit a goldsmith and it turns out that the diamond tear shards are going to be transformed into a necklace that she will wear with her ceremonial dress. Or maybe the necklace is actually part of the dress? I'm not sure. I just know that Mia thinks the design is beautiful and Remy approves it, saying he will send over more gems to complete the design.

Suddenly we're back in New York. Remy assures Mia that they will spend half their time there and half their time at his place so that she can run her coven and he can run his House. Mia is grateful for his compromise but worried about him. Dragons are rare and prized. She's worried another paranormal might try to harm him for his scales and he can't shift to defend himself in modern times. Not with YouTube and Twitter to out him. Mia wonders if she'll end up giving up her coven to stay with him in his realm. It might be the only way to keep him safe.

Mia is troubled at the thought and tells him that her life in the vampire court is the only life she's ever known and that she had to work hard to get to the top of it. He tells her that he's not asking her to give it up and he would never do that. He seems hurt that she thinks otherwise. She tries to explain her thought process to him but he doesn't understand her. All she knows is that if something happens to him she will never get over it.

There's a lot of vampire business going on that I just skipped over because it's super boring. Weeks have passed and Mia is irritated at her continued paralysis AND extremely.....thirsty....if you know what I mean. Remy will let her drink his blood but he's not giving up any other bodily fluids until the mating has settled (when she can move her legs again). This leaves Mia extremely frustrated and in a horrible mood.

One evening before Christmas, Mia awakens to a horrible itch on her calf. She scratches at it with her foot and is dismayed to feel something bizarre. When she looks, she's developed a small patch of dragon scales. She's horrified. Remy told her she'd bear a mark when the mating settled but he likened it to a tattoo. This is not a tattoo. She wakes him up and demands to know what the fuck is going on. He's just as confused as she is. He says he's never heard of that happening before.

Mia is terrified. She doesn't know if it's going to spread to her entire body and she's scared. Remy tells her they need to go to the Queen now that she can move her legs but she refuses to go. She says she won't leave her Coven and the support of her people until she knows what's going on. He tries to comfort her but she doesn't want to be comforted. She yells at him to leave her alone. He's hurt and she takes advantage of that, screaming at him that she doesn't want him there anymore. He leaves.

Brady comes in and Mia moans and groans about how awful Remy is for leaving her. It makes my head spin. He didn't want to leave her.  She forced him to go and now she's blaming him for doing what she asked him to do.

Eventually Remy reappears. He tells her that he looks like an idiot in front of the Queen now and that his entire House has been disgraced. She feels a little bad about that. She dismisses Brady and then literally jumps on Remy. She tells him that if she's going to turn into a giant lizard because of him, the least he can do is.....ahem.....give her his tribute if you know what I mean.

I'm sure you can guess what follows. It's pretty well written and I didn't hate it. It....culminates....in Mia conceiving a little 'ling. After they sleep, Remy asks her if she'll please come see the Queen. The scales haven't spread so she agrees. He helps her dress so she can say goodbye to her coven.

When they step out of her bedroom she's stunned to see a full-blown Christmas party going on. Remy arranged it for her after she screamed at him to leave her room earlier. He knew how much Christmas meant to her and he wanted her to have it before they left.  So, she treated him like absolute dirt and he walked out of the room and did this for her.  It's so swoony, y'all. 

She asks him if they have time to party. She's already disrespected his Queen and he has a lot of face to save with his people. He just shrugs and says her happiness means more to him than his Queen's.

What's a little treason when there's love involved.

We don't get to attend the party with them. We're transported to the next day. Remy and Mia get into their ceremonial garb and go to appear before the Queen. Mia gets to use her Remy saddle for the first time and she finds it all very exhilarating. I would think Remy would find it demeaning but it's actually a point of pride for his kind. It means they have a mate and they consider that to be a great honor. I'm kinda liking the dragon people.

They get to court and Mia finds it hard to be super submissive. Luckily the Queen seems to find her intriguing.....kind of like a new species of bug one wants to learn more about. The Queen informs Mia that she is pregnant and Mia is thrilled and dismayed at the same time. She was hoping to have some alone time with her mate but now they'll have a baby for a couple of hundred years. Is it wrong that I wish humans were the same way? I'd gladly keep my manager little for a couple hundred years.

They're about to go into the banquet when George appears covered in blood. He announces that his mate is dying and the book ends.

Sigh.

A cliffy and I didn't know it. Before you ask, I don't think I'll read the next one. At least not for the blog. This one was too good. There was very little to make fun of and I read it in a day. That means it's not very blog-able. I need to go back to the cows or something.