Rhett's Branding (Scarlett Rose and the 7 Longhorns Book 3) by Lola Newmar

**This blog contains adult language and discussion of.....ahem.......adult activities.**

Warning: Contains Spoilers!!!  This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself.  Do NOT continue to read unless you want to have the story completely and utterly spoiled.

Book Description: Now that Scarlett Rose has been getting to know her shifter mates, her love for the Lennox cowboys has grown more each day.  Problem is, she barely even likes one of them.  Since her arrival at the ranch, Rhett has been cocky, arrogant, and above all, too wound with passion to ever really open up to her.  She knows he loves her and that his survival relies on it, but she wants more than just a physical expression of how he feels.  Rhett has never been one to share his emotions with anyone, choosing instead to distract himself with the need to ease the ache in his jeans.  He's dominated by his raging libido, which has only gotten worse since Scarlett moved in.  But he is aware that human mates need to be courted on a regular basis for their love to remain strong.  So when Scarlett insists on taking a road trip to Dallas to investigate the person responsible for wanting her dead, Rhett sees it as an opportunity to spend some much needed one-on-one time with his sexy mate.  Together they go through a whirlwind of extreme sexual adventures while embarking on an unforgettable road trip across the Texas plains.


Um...."choosing instead to distract himself with the need to ease the ache in his jeans" is just.....ugh.  And Scarlett doesn't even look like the same person.  Weird. 

This book was published in 2011 and this was my first reading.

Previously at the Ranch......In book two, the twins and the triplets set out to resign from the rodeo leaving her in the sole company of Dr Moo.  They had lots of sex and then he took her out shooting.  When she told him she didn't know how to use a gun, he threatened to spank her until she cried which cemented my hate for him and revealed that she's actually an Olympic shooter all at the same time.  A mysterious woman brought her a sample of candy apple flavored lube which turned out to be poison but Dr Moo saved the day.  To comfort her, the boys gave her a massage with their....ahem.....love lances......and that led to a rousing bout of foot sex.  At the end, she had a vision of a sculpture that one of the boys recognized as being in a GALLERY in Dallas.  Remember that part, y'all.

Our Barnyard Beasties:

Scarlett - our plucky protagonist.  She has no idea who she is or where she came from but she knows someone is trying to kill her.  She just turned 21 and she apparently loves cows.

Leo (AKA Dr Moo) - a licensed physician who is 20+ years older than our protagonist.  I don't know what color his cow is.

Devlin - a dom with a bad attitude.  He makes his living as a rodeo bull.  He's a black and white cow.

Denzel (or Denzil depending on Newmar's mood) - Devlin's identical twin.  He takes the others to the rodeo to compete.  He's sweet and gentle and pretty much my favorite even if he says goodbye in a completely horrifying way.  He's also a black and white cow.

Rhett, Sonny and Levi - the triplets.  They also compete as rodeo bulls.  Sonny is optimistic and sentimental and Rhett is super.....ahem....horny.  I don't have a grasp on Levi still (and that's still not a euphemism).  They are all red cows.

Byron - the brooding brother who works on the ranch in the husbandry area (he makes baby cows).  He's a tortured soul who hates being a shifter and hates being mated.  He keeps mostly to himself and rarely joins the others except for....ahem......special occasions.  He's a blue cow which actually means he's black.

Alisa - a young mail-order bride from Russia determined to be a black widow.  She ordered Scarlett's death more than once.

Charlie - Scarlett's oblivious father.  He has no idea his wife-to-be is evil and no idea his daughter is missing.  He's elderly and not in the greatest of health.

Dasha - Alisa's mother from Little Russia.  She's the one who tried to poison Scarlett with the lube.  She's in her 40's which makes her Dr Moo's age for reference. 

Todd - our woodsman of the story.  He's Charlie's nurse and Alisa's lover.  He attempted to kill Scarlett the first time at the cliffs but he's pretty inept.



On Today's Episode of the Bold and the Bovine..............

The book opens with our protagonist Scarlett being chased through the house by an unnamed cow-shifter. He catches up to her at the bedroom door and body slams her onto the bed from behind. She can feel his loooooong tongue licking the back of her neck and knows he partially shifted already. He tells her she can never get away from him and it's almost alarming until he reveals they've been playing Tag.

Yeah, you read that right. They're playing tag.

Oh, and it's Rhett.

He flips her over and she tugs on his nipple ring making him moan. She sucks it into her mouth and his eyes start glowing orange. Things start to get interesting and then Leo shows up at the door. I think he was playing too? I have no idea. He seems amused that Rhett caught her so easily and he joins them on the bed. Scarlett kisses him while Rhett makes his way a little lower on the horizon if you know what I mean. The kiss makes Leo's horns spring out.

So they explain this a little better in this book.  In previous books it sounded like their horns started to sprout as soon as their.....ahem.....pocket rockets ignited.  But it's not quite that automatic.  Apparently the force of their desire is so strong it's an intense ache in their....ahem....kiwis.  To ease the ache, they let their horns out.  Fully out feels the best but it causes complications because they can be up to ten feet across.  Having seven men trying to giggety your googety with ten-foot-long horns is dangerous.  So they just let them out a little.

Levi comes in next and Scarlett gets butterflies. She thinks Levi is ever so dreamy.  Good to know.  We know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about Levi.

Newmar takes this opportunity to remind us that Scarlett has known these guys for THREE DAYS.

The rest of the boys are present too....even Byron....and they're all pretty much primed and ready. They're hoping if they all.....ahem....spread their bull butter on or in Scarlett that it will trigger another memory. So this is for educational purposes you see. They're totally not just having sex because they like it.

What follows is pretty much par for the course. Nothing too bizarre happens – no one has sex with her feet this time – and they all......spill their high fructose porn syrup if you know what I mean. Immediately Scarlett has another vision. She sees herself having lunch with her father in some kind of office and guesses that they work together. She can tell her father loves her and she's certain that he's not the one trying to kill her.

They all look to Leo for a plan since he's practically elderly. He says that she and Rhett should go to the OFFICE where the sculpture is located and Rhett will go in alone to see what info he can get. Leo encourages him to try to get Scarlett's address so they can search her apartment for any clues.

Do you see a problem with this, dear readers?

The sculpture was in a fucking gallery last book.  In this book it's in an office building.  One that Denzel would have no reason to ever be in and thus would have been unable to recognize it.  Keep it straight, Newmar.  This isn't complicated fiction you're writing here.

Leo tells Rhett to get Scarlett back home by the end of the day.  He doesn't trust Rhett to be able to protect her if shit gets real.  Because she's a "Strawberry Girl" (meaning her children won't be doomed with the shifter curse) other shifters will be anxious to get their hands on her.  Rhett really resents this but Leo is practically his father so he doesn't make a big scene.

Rhett and Scarlett head out. They're on the road for about half an hour when Rhett asks her bluntly to....ahem.....polish his pickle. He says he's uncomfortable and can't take it anymore. She admonishes him for not being romantic and treating her like a lady and he says it's not his style. Levi and Sonny are the charmers and Denzel is the sweet one. He's just the good ole' boy of the bunch. She's not happy with that answer and tells him that she needs to know if he loves her.

HE MET YOU THREE DAYS AGO, BITCH.

Rhett tells her that shifters have to love their mates. They aren't given a choice. But sometimes they don't like them. He likes her, though, and he's never said that to another woman. For some reason this seems to piss her off and she basically accuses him of being a dick to women in general. Her judgmental attitude makes him hella angry and he pulls off on the side of the road and roars at her not to form opinions when she doesn't know the whole story. I have no idea why either of them are this mad here.  It's like epic rage amounts of mad.

Scarlett accuses Rhett of hitting it and quitting it and he asks her what the hell he was supposed to do. It's not like he could have a long-term relationship with a girl. He knew he had a mate out there and he wasn't going to lead girls on and make them think they had a future with him when they didn't. She absorbs that and decides she isn't mad at all. In fact, suddenly she wants to.....ahem.....lick his lollipop while they're driving 80 down the road.

Seems safe.

Rhett likes this idea very much and he starts the truck again. It doesn't take long, however, before he realizes what she's doing is way too distracting for him to be operating heavy machinery and for the good of all the people on the road, he pulls off onto a side street.

Scarlett completes her task and Rhett gives her a thank you kiss. As soon as he does, he has a vision of his own.  Is it because he caught a taste of his....ahem....gentleman's relish???  He sees the black truck that Scarlett described in a previous vision. It's pulling up in front of a club and luckily he knows right where the club is.

Time passes. Hours I think. They pull off at a gas station and Rhett gets out to get some gas. She tells him to bring her back something sweet and he complies, bringing back two sacks of junk food.....and a college-aged gas station attendant. When Scarlett asks him what he's doing with the guy, Rhett tells her that he's going to.....ahem.....polish her pearl and the attendant is going to watch. Scarlett puts up a token protest but she likes the idea. They take her to a garage in the back and Rhett puts her up on the hood of a car parked inside. I'm sure you can imagine what happens next. Let's just say the attendant appreciates the show and Scarlett enjoys being the star.

The club turns out to be some kind of sex club that Rhett goes to because he likes to have sex with an audience. 

I know, I was shocked too.

Scarlett is scared to go in. She's worried someone might hurt her in there. This pisses Rhett off again because it's the second time that day someone implied that he couldn't take care of Scarlett. I get him being irritated by this but Newmar writes it like he's flying into some kind of insane rage and that's just disturbing. Rhett tells her that he needs her trust almost more than he needs her love and she decides to give it to him.

They go inside and Scarlett is overwhelmed by all that she sees. I won't describe it but I'm sure your imagination will fill in the blanks. He leads her past rooms where some serious S&M is going on and she comments that it seems more like Devlin's style than his. Rhett tells her whips and chains are fun but he likes something a little "friendlier". She's nervous about where he's taking her but decides that she needs to explore his kink a little to get to know him better.

His kink should be pretty obvious by the whole gas station scene but she seems surprised when he leads her into a room with a bed in the middle. The room has glass walls and at least 20 people are gathered outside of them ready to watch. She's nervous but not averse. There's a screen by the bed where the viewers can submit requests. Rhett likes this part. Unlike Devlin and Byron he doesn't need to have control of everything. In fact, he likes it better when he loses control.

Things get underway and Rhett spouts horns. The ones on his head. Scarlett panics but he can't be forced to care. She's legitimately scared that they'll run and call the cops or something but luckily they all seem to think they are prosthetics or props or something. What follows is some of the most detailed sex I've ever read in my life but, again, nothing bizarre occurs other than he lets his cow tongue take a walk on the wild side which everyone assumes is a prosthetic as well.

We leave Scarlett and Rhett to meet up with Alisa and Todd. She has him restrained with a metal ball gag in his mouth. That sounds super dangerous. He could chip some teeth on that thing. Her mother Dasha is apparently with them. Oh, they're at the sex club too. They head upstairs and run into Scarlett and Rhett. They are aghast to see she's alive.

Alisa is afraid she'll be recognized but Scarlett just glances at her with polite disinterest and moves around them down the stairs. Alisa realizes she must have some memory loss from the fall. Apparently Dasha is in some kind of leather mask which is why Scarlett didn't recognize her. Alisa is determined to find out what they were doing at the club.

While she's standing there, a security guard comes out of the security room to get a drink. Alisa asks Dasha to go over and “fuck his brains out” to distract him so she can sneak in and look at security footage. That's a gross conversation to have with your mother, yo.

Alisa manages to get into the room and review the footage from Rhett and Scarlett. She's surprised to see him sprout horns. As she's leaving, she gets caught by the manager. He asks her what she's doing and she tells him she was investigating a rumor that some of the members use illusions or special effects in “animal-play”. He asks why she cares since she's into “blood and scat play” which sounds super icky to me. She claims to be changing her kink and he indulges her. He tells her that Rhett isn't the first one to use illusion during animal-play.  They had brothers in a few months back that seemed to partially morph into hyenas during sex. No one could figure out how they did it. She asks for info about the hyena brothers and offers him $30,000. He gives her a printout of their driver's licenses.

I have no idea what this has to do with anything. Is Newmar setting up another series? Hyenas seem tame after cows.

We switch back to Scarlett and Rhett now. The encounter with Alisa shook her up but she doesn't know why. She and Rhett head toward their hotel but on the way he sees a sign along the highway directing people to some kind of family reunion. He decides to crash the party. When they get there, he gives a vague story about being “Lily's boy” and luckily for him, a Lily exists. He fits in immediately and soon he's laughing and talking with pretty much everyone. Scarlett is amazed.

They eat and drink and dance before sneaking out to Rhett's truck. Things are getting pretty intricate when he suddenly stops and tells her he'd rather have her in the hotel bed instead. I guess it happens. We don't get to know for once.

Suddenly it's the next morning and Rhett is headed to that office building with the sculpture in Scarlett's vision. He charms the dowdy receptionist into giving him Scarlett's address. They go to check it out and it's a pretty high-end apartment building with a receptionist. She recognizes Scarlett immediately and says something about thinking maybe she moved out since someone came to collect all her things a few days ago. Scarlett gives her a story about misplacing her keys and is given a spare. When they get up to the apartment, it's completely empty.

Rhett wants to go back to the office building and charm the receptionist out of some more info but Scarlett just wants to go home. She's had enough and she's scared. Rhett is immediately furious. There's that weird out-of-proportion rage again. He screams at Scarlett for not believing he can keep her safe. She can't figure out what to say and he angrily stomps off to his truck.

They head toward home and eventually Rhett realizes he's a giant asshole. He apologizes to Scarlett and she accepts because she's just a puppet with Rhett's hand up her ass (literally sometimes). He pulls off the road and heads into the woods. When he stops, he's pleased to see that Scarlett waits for him to open her door because it “makes him feel so masculine.” Glurg. Apparently he's decided they're here to shoot guns. He takes handguns out of his truck and then finds some beer cans to put on a fence. I have no idea what the hell this has to do with anything.

As they shoot, Scarlett asks about his daddies. Rhett doesn't really want to talk about that. His human mother walked out on his dads when he was just four years old. Shifters can't love anyone but their mate and they can't really exist without her once they find her so his dads all ended up dying from broken hearts or alcoholism pretty soon after she abandoned them.  We don't get to know why she made this decision but maybe it was because having sex with brothers at the same time in the same room is just gross.

He gives her the bare bones of things – he had four dads and they weren't the most loving.  He's clearly carrying a lot of pain around from his childhood and it's likely why he isn't as forthcoming with his feelings as she'd like.  She comforts him and it leads to what you think it leads to. She asks him to fully extend his horns during and he complies. It's a VERY odd image.

Suddenly we're back at the ranch and Scarlett is putting on something lacy and racy for her welcome back party. Things are just getting going when Rhett has another vision. He sees Scarlett watching the man and woman from the club earlier having sex on a desk. He can sense her betrayal and anger. She asks him to describe the room and realizes it's her father's office. She tells them that she thinks the woman was her stepmother and the book ends.

That felt abrupt.

The writing (not the plot but the actual words used) continues to improve as the series goes on.  Maybe she got an editor?  It's not as clumsy as book one.  There are three more books in the series and I promise to get to them eventually.