**This blog contains adult language and description of...ahem...adult activities.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to have the story completely and utterly spoiled.
Book Description: When Belle's father walks in on her and Gastard doing the dirty, beastly curses abound. But at least her dad kept the help. Kind of.
So this was originally a short story published in 2018 in an anthology but I got it by signing up for the author's newletter. Here's hoping I don't regret it.
(((Note from future me: I did not regret it.)))
We begin with our protagonist Belle getting a cup of coffee from Mrs Pulse. Mrs Pulse had been the head cook before the curse, but now she's a multi-speed vibrator. Sounds way more fun than a china pot. Belle is cursed to spend all eternity in her castle with only her books and her servants-turned-sex-toys to keep her company. Her father cursed her when he found her having sex with Gastard and then died before he could cool off and remove it. Now none of them can leave.
Well, technically Belle can leave but the servants are kept in the house by some kind of force field.
Eva comes in and Belle moans about how jealous she is that Eva is getting serviced by Vibiere every night while Belle's reading nook remains empty if you know what I mean. Eva urges Belle to try to leave the grounds to go find Gastard. Belle is hesitant. As part of the curse, she shifts into a beast every time she leaves the house. She's never even tried to leave the grounds because she's too humiliated to let anyone see her in beast form. Eva tries to convince her that shifters are sexy and there are plenty of them around town so no one will be too shocked, but Belle is reluctant. Gastard has never once tried to come and see her (that she knows of) and she doesn't think he'll be able to love her in beast form.
We switch over to Gastard who is drinking his woes away at the bar. Despite what Belle thinks, he's been trying to get onto the castle grounds every single day since she got cursed. There's some kind of force field around it that won't let him through. Gastard has been cursed as well. He can't....ahem....let it go (if you know what I mean). The entire town knows it too and taunts him endlessly.
“No one's swol like Gastard, like a bull, that Gastard, No one's balls are as incredibly full as Gastard's.”
The rest of the song is even more hilarious but more inappropriate too so I'll leave you with that one. Let's just say the gist of the song is that Gastard is good at the sex he can't finish.
Someone in the tavern yells out “Beast!” and Gastard turns to see a beast staring in the window at him. They lock eyes and he instantly recognizes Belle. He calls out to her but she panics and runs. He chases after her and catches up to her just outside the invisible wall that surrounds the castle. She's not stopping, so he tackles her, grabbing onto her fur. The momentum carries them both through the barrier and now he's inside.
Gastard is excited to see her. He doesn't know if she was always a shifter or if it's part of the curse but he's happy to be with her again and doesn't really care about the fur and claws.
We switch back to Belle. She heard the tavern song about Gaston's prowess and now she's pissed that he's been off fucking all the locals while she's been cursed. Nevertheless, she leads him inside so she can shift back into a human and talk to him. He's fascinated and asks her if she's always been a shifter. She tells him about her curse and he tells her about his. She asks him about the tavern song and he says that the locals just sing it to rile him up because of his little problem and that he hasn't been with anyone else. That makes her feel a little better. Then he asks her if she still loves him. She says she does and then they kiss.
Things get a little heated but Belle stops. She says it wouldn't be fair for her to have all the fun when he can't. He says that maybe they'll break the curse by fucking it away. She doesn't seem to think this would be the “out clause” that her dad engineered into the curse. It does seem unlikely but Gastard is a giver and says he'll enjoy watching her....ahem....complete (if you know what I mean) even if he never can again.
What a guy.
Some fairly well-written, graphic sex follows and Gastard breaks his curse if you know what I mean.
Belle is so sure that the entire curse is broken that she goes running out into the yard the next morning. Unfortunately, she still shifts into a beast. Gastard consoles her from the doorway of the house and reassures her that they'll figure out how to break the curse eventually. She's distraught so he comes out into the yard determined to hug her.
And then shifts into a beast himself.
Eventually they go back inside and Belle apologizes for cursing him. He says he'd rather be cursed with her than living without her. He asks about the servants and she explains what happened to them. He wonders if they can switch the servants' curses to Belle's curse as well and just turn them all into shifters. She thinks that would just be a different kind of awful but he reminds her that they'd be human in the house and they'd be able to leave the house as long as they were okay with being beastly. It would be better than a life trapped as a sex toy.
They're....um.....they're going to use the 'toys' aren't they?
Okay, that doesn't seem to be the plan. Whew. The servants-turned-sex-toys can't leave the house at all but Belle figures the same principles that let Gastard come through the barrier will let them come through too. She grabs Eva and then walks out of the house carrying her. She drops the human/vibrator as she shifts and when she's all beastly again, she looks over to see Eva in human form standing in the yard. She repeats this with everyone until they're all human again.
So the servants don't switch to the beast curse at all. They're just cured.
Gastard asks her if there's any way to break their joint curse and she has a theory. She thinks if they have sex in beast form it will prove they love each other no matter what and the curse will be lifted. Gastard's down to clown so they wait until nightfall to give it a go. It works. They shift back into human in the middle of the deed and finish off furless.
The book ends with the reminder that sex is really the song that's as old as time.
I know this is absurd, but I really liked this book. The curse curing part made very little sense to me but I loved Gastard's character and I appreciated the message behind it all. Plus, the song was a banger.
Kind of like Gastard (if you know what I mean 😉)
No comments:
Post a Comment