**This blog contains adult language and description of...ahem...adult activities.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to have the story completely and utterly spoiled.
Book Description: A dedicated art student at her local community college, Poppy practically lives inside her sketchbook. Drawn to the distracted crowds of the local zoo, her planned day of anonymous figure-sketching is interrupted by the charming Sebastian – and his brooding, borderline-rude friend Keane. Little does she know the two have a twisted secret that defies imagination – and the pressure on both of them is increasing by the day. As an intricate plan takes shape to secure their freedom, the twists and turns they face – and a pair of very intriguing knots – might just unwittingly tie Poppy to both of them forever.
This book was published in 2022 and this is my first time reading it.
We begin with our protagonist Poppy at the zoo. She's there to watch people and sketch so she's picked a spot across from one of the busiest walkways to sit. It's a warm day and she's forgotten her water bottle, so after awhile she considers going to find something to drink. There's a water fountain outside the bathroom across the walkway but she really doesn't want to gather up all her sketching materials just to walk across to get a drink. She can't leave it all unattended either because someone might steal it.
She hears the gentle squeaking of balloons and then a vendor named Sebastian appears. He's noticed her casting longing glances toward the bathroom and offers to watch her stuff while she runs over. She tells him she was actually just going to get a drink and he sadly informs her that the water fountain is broken. He offers to get her a bottle from the concession stand because his friend works there but she declines.
They stand and flirt for a bit – Seb is tall, dark and gorgeous with longish, loose curls that she's dying to touch. Seb says he'll probably get fired if a zoo patron dies from dehydration right beside him and she finally gives in and accepts his offer of a water bottle. As they walk toward the concession stand, he warns her that his friend Keane gets really grumpy in the heat but says that he's a really sweet guy underneath it all.
We land in Keane's head and get a bunch of lore. It's a little confusing but as far as I can tell, Seb and Keane were magicked into existence by a carnival owner named Zina. Their true form is balloon animals but they can shift into humans at will. Zina created them for sexual purposes but made sure that she was the only woman who could use them by making them.....well, Ken dolls essentially. They're all smooth down there. When she wants some nookie, she conjures up their....ahem....bald eagle (if you know what I mean). It's made of latex and has a knot at the base that can be moved up and down along the shaft. There's a smaller knot at the tip that goes internal as the....balloon....grows. It appears again just before....ahem....popping (if you know what I mean) and then the balloon phallus deflates and she makes it disappear again.
Sounds....squeaky.
Zina was a cruel and demanding lover and often injured and ridiculed them for their performance. One day while comforting each other, they discovered that the spell to conjure up their....ahem...blow pop (if you know what I mean) could be done by any man. Apparently Zina never took into consideration that they might end up loving each other. Once they discovered how nice sex can be with a kind partner, they started plotting to get away from Zina. Apparently their ability to shift is tied to being near her? I don't know, like I said the lore is hella confusing. They had to paint sigils all over their body in order to break free of her and escape. I guess the sigils are just a temporary fix though. In order to remain people, they need a human to redraw their sigils and then speak intention into the spell. Or something like that. Keane's been doing a lot of research into it and Seb's been on the lookout for an artist who can handle the drawing aspect.
Keane's reading an ancient book when Seb and Poppy come in the back of the concession stand. He's pissed at the way Poppy is looking at the man he loves and he's pretty rude to her. Keane is convinced that Seb will leave him as soon as he has a choice. Right now, Seb needs Keane if he wants to, you know, have a dick in the literal sense and if he wants to find a way to remain human. Keane asks Poppy to leave which embarrasses Seb. He gets her a water bottle and then takes her outside where Keane can hear him apologizing to her.
Suddenly it seems like the zoo has closed even though no actual time has passed. But when Seb walks back inside the stand, after a 30 second conversation with Poppy, the place is now closed and they're getting ready to call it a day. Sloppy. Seb demands to know why Keane was such an asshole to Poppy and Keane just comes out and admits he's insecure about losing Seb. They've only had each other since their literal creation and Keane doesn't know how to function without him. Seb reassures him that he wants to be with him. He says that Poppy is an artist and she can help them with the sigils. Keane would rather find someone to help who doesn't eye fuck his boyfriend.
Seb is persistent, so Keane decides to distract him by summoning Seb's....ahem....water cannon (if you know what I mean) and getting on his knees to obey Obama. It's effective and Seb completely forgets what they were talking about. So when these guys....ahem....pop (if you know what I mean) the...ahem....filling (if you know what I mean) tastes like funnel cake icing. This is the second fucking book in a row where the jizz tasted like icing.
I'm sure a lot of humans would appreciate it if this was a real thing.
Afterwards, they shift into balloon animal form and sleep in the concession stand because it saves money on rent. That's valid but it seems dangerous. What if someone pops them (and not in a good way)? What if someone steals them and takes them home? It just seems like a huge risk unless Keane is the only one with keys to the concession stand which seems unlikely.
Back with Poppy. The next morning she sketches both Seb and Keane from memory. She's taking some kind of life drawing class and her current assignment is to find a “stern” model. She thinks Keane will be perfect but she can't seem to get his nose right. As soon as the zoo opens, she heads over to get another look at him. He scowls a soon as he sees her but she decides to irritate him to get an even better expression out of him. She can tell he loves Seb and he's jealous of her attention to him so she casually asks where Seb is as she orders a bottle of water. It works. Keane is instantly pissed off. She hides her glee in this development and goes to a nearby picnic table where she can still see his glowering expression.
After awhile, she hears the gentle squeaking of balloons again and Seb appears. Oddly without balloons though. He looks at her sketchbook and declares that she's captured “bad day Keane” perfectly. Poppy can't get over how hot Seb is and feels like she's falling for him despite the fact they have had two brief conversations and she knows fuck all about him.
Poppy asks Seb if he and Keane are “together”. The question seems to confuse Seb a little and he just blinks at her for a few seconds. Eventually he says that they do what he's seen on (insert random, unnamed hardcore porn site here) but he doesn't think they're married. Poppy finds that endearing and says Seb might want to clear up the marriage thing at some point. He agrees. Then he changes the subject and asks if she does drawings for money. He says he wants something deeply personal for him and Keane but she'll need to keep it a secret. She assumes he wants something NSFW and gets kind of turned on by the idea. She accepts and they plan to meet again in two days because she has school obligations the next day.
Back with Keane. Seb comes in to tell him that Poppy will draw the sigils. Keane is pissed that Seb went behind his back to commission her. He still wanted to find someone who wasn't hot for his boyfriend. Seb gets pissed at his attitude. Keane's never seen Seb angry and feels like that's just more evidence that Poppy is changing things. Seb accuses Keane of wanting to keep him just like Zina wanted to keep him and that instantly makes Keane feel guilty. He hugs Seb and says that he just doesn't trust women in general and he doesn't want Seb to get hurt but it's bullshit because we know he's afraid he'll lose Seb to Poppy.
Seb is getting fed up. He's followed Keane since their creation and done everything that Keane told him to do. He wants to have some input into his own life. They're running out of time and they don't know any other artists. Keane lets the subject drop but decides he's going to try to find another artist immediately.
The next day, both Seb and Keane are assigned to the concession stand. It's a quiet day because it's raining so Keane decides to slip out. He tells Seb he's trying to track down another reference book but he heads to the Fine Arts College instead to find another artist. He walks into the building behind some other students and then realizes he has no idea what to do next.
A man appears and mistakes Keane for one of the life models. He's ordered into a supply closet and told to strip. For some reason, Keane just goes along with this. After he changes into a robe, he's ushered into a room full of students. He ditches the robe and settles onto a raised platform so they can draw him.
I'm....confused. If Seb isn't there to summon his....ahem....disco stick (if you know what I mean), wouldn't he just be Ken doll smooth down there? Also, I thought their dicks were balloons. During that first scene we were told it was made of latex and had two knots – a big one at the base and a small one at the tip. You'd think something like this would illicit a response from the students but all we get is the professor commenting that they're lucky to have such a wide variety of bodies this semester.
Poppy is in the class and she's really rattled at seeing Keane naked. But not rattled enough to tell us that anything is different about him. It's weird and doesn't make sense. After class, the teacher asks her to escort Keane back to the supply cabinet so he can change. As soon as they're alone, she demands to know what the hell he's doing there. Keane tries to play it off like he's there to warn her to stop flirting with his boyfriend. Poppy says she already stopped as soon as she realized the two of them were together. It makes Keane thaw a little bit toward her.
Poppy says she hopes things won't be awkward when she sketches them tomorrow. Keane is confused and asks what Seb told her about the job. She says she thought she was going to draw them having sex. Keane snorts and asks why she'd ever take a job like that and she admits that she finds them both hot and she thought it would be fun. For some reason this seems to turn Keane on and he kisses her.
Well that was an abrupt shift in attitude.
They end up having sex. Somehow. No, I don't understand how. I thought Zina was the only woman who could summon their dicks. Why is this lore so confusing? I'm so lost.
Also, for a man who was so hung up on his boyfriend cheating on him, this is very hypocritical and ironic.
Afterwards, Poppy looks down to see that Keane's pelvic region is royal purple (the color of his balloon form) and translucent. She screams and the chapter ends.
We land in Seb's head for the first time 84% through the book. He's shocked when Keane and Poppy come into the concession stand holding hands and looking disheveled. He closes down the stand and asks them what's going on. Keane says that Poppy knows everything and that something weird just happened.
Seb sees the bite marks on their shoulders that they gave each other during sex and knows that Keane knotted her. That means they're mated and since their kind can only mate with tulpamancers, Poppy must be one.
Poppy is freaked out at being mated to a man she just met so Seb tells Keane to purr to calm her down. She's Keane's omega now and only he can calm her. Keane is a little freaked out himself, but he purrs and she instantly chills. Seb is a little sad that he can't mate with Keane but he's happy for them.
Seb tells Keane that he's safe now. Zina wasn't a true tuplamancer – she used borrowed magic. Now that Keane is mated to a true tulpamancer, Zina can't take him back. Poppy asks if Seb can be saved too. He doesn't think so. As a bonded pair, Keane and Poppy will only mate with each other and the odds of Seb randomly finding another tulpamancer aren't good. I don't know why they can do the sigil thing on Seb to buy them some more time. None of this makes sense anymore.
Seb cautiously leans in to give Keane one last kiss. It's risky because, as his mate, Poppy could fly into a murderous rage at the contact and Keane's probably going to reject it, but he has to try. To his surprise, Keane returns the kiss with as much love as he always does and Poppy doesn't even bat an eye at it. Seb wonders if maybe the three of them can be a mated triad.
They all go back to Poppy's place and she mates Seb as well. Now he's safe too and the three of them are a bonded thruple. They spend three days having sex and then Zina finds them. We're just kind of told about the encounter over a few sentences and the whole thing is very rushed and unimportant. Poppy forces Zina out onto the balcony and then kisses her, filling her with helium. Zina floats away and that's that.
No, I don't know how. This book stopped making sense a very long time ago.
The book ends with the three of them promising to “find out all the ways that two balloons and an open-minded, mostly-human woman could twist themselves up in pleasure.”
There's a sequel but I'm not sure I'll read it. I found the lore really frustrating in this book. Most of the time I had no idea what was happening or why. The author told us one thing and then contradicted it later. I think I would have actually liked this book if the lore made sense.
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