**This blog contains adult language and description of...ahem...adult activities.**
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!!! This is a recap blog which means I read the book and tell you everything that happens so you don't have to read it yourself. Do NOT continue to read unless you want to have the story completely and utterly spoiled.
Book Description: When the blocks started falling from the sky, Christie Aackerlund welcomed the excitement. Now she's having a bad day at work, and looking for some fun and games. Luckily she runs into some large Russian blocks that are more than happy to score. Soon, she'll be the one falling...in lust.
We're back with our protagonist Christie. Our last encounter found her discovering some outdated technology and getting Conquered by Clippy. She tells us that awhile back, Tetris blocks began falling from the sky. People weren't sure if they were aliens or some kind of advanced technology from the future, but they were sentient, learning to talk almost immediately. They also formed very useful structures so people welcomed them with open arms.
Now the talking, sentient blocks form people's houses, their furniture, public structures and store fixtures. Sidewalks talk, counters talk, park statues wave. It's an odd world. Christie is used to it, though. She even has a few favorites. The counter at Starbucks has become a friend of hers so she's dismayed when he tells her that today is his last day. She asks where he's going but he simply says he can't tell her. It makes her wonder where the blocks go when they leave Earth.
Christie gets her coffee and then hurries to her office. Today is the day she learns whether she's going to be promoted or not. She works for an organization called Squawker Media as some kind of reporter and she's hoping that she'll be allowed to pick her own story ideas from now on.
When she gets to work, she goes immediately to Dick Denton's office. He's the boss and the person who holds her fate in his hands. He lives up to his name. Dick stares at her boobs and then refuses to promote her. He tells her that he wants her to cover stories about the blocks. He's hoping to catch some of them messing up so people will stop thinking they're amazing. Christie decides to quit instead.
After leaving Dick's office, Christie goes into the bathroom to fix her makeup. Although she's okay with her decision, she's still crying a little and she doesn't want her former co-workers to see. The bathroom counter asks her if she's okay in a thick Russian accent. She tells the block that she just quit and he's happy for her. Him and two of his block friends have also quit because Dick is such a dick.
This block is a red Z shape which Christie is especially fond of for some reason. I always hated the Z shapes. I loved the straight lines and the cubes. Z notices her interest and tells her that he's never had sex with a human. That's enough for her and she immediately pulls up her skirt.
The blocks have vibrating....ahem...joysticks if you know what I mean. Christie enjoys it a lot in several different positions. Mid ride, the bathroom door opens and a purple L block comes in. Those are a pretty good shape too. Christie invites him to join in. She's doing them both when a blue I block arrives. He joins the game and soon all of them are Tetris-ing their hearts out. Unfortunately they end up combining together and disappear just as she....ahem....reaches the high score if you know what I mean.
We skip ahead two months. Christie has started a blog where she writes about the blocks and block rights. She's noticed she's gaining weight and her stomach hurts a lot so she does some investigating and realizes she's pregnant. This book ends here but I'm going to see if I can find the next one real quick. I need closure.
Okay, I've searched and searched and I can't find it. This is going to be the shortest blog post ever. Why have you forsaken me, Delaney!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭
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